I’m not big on “right” and “wrong.” I much prefer “works” or “doesn’t work.”

Our actions in life are often labeled “right” or “wrong” and from my experience, that only sets up a debate. When you objectively observe whether your actions are working or not, you have outlined a path forward, rather than entrench yourself in a defensive position of right or wrong.

Language matters. We have been conditioned to certain words that trigger specific sensations. Unless we recognize the conditioning and take steps to outgrow it, we are at the mercy of our language.

Notice your response to these phrases:

“You’re bringing up your children wrong.”

“You’re doing it all wrong.”

“Right” and “wrong” will close you down in a heartbeat. You will also put others on the defensive when you assert right and wrong.

I have this notion that there is too much “kid gloving” going on in the world. “Kid gloving” means that we make excuses for behavior (ours or another’s) that’s not working. My conditioning says making excuses is wrong, but if I don’t challenge my wording, I have little chance of getting it “right” – meaning “getting it to work.”

I invite you to notice how many times you invite right or wrong into your conversations. The more often you do, the more often the conversations will go round and round as each of you circles the wagons.

We set the stage for a forward direction in our life’s play when we rewrite the dialogue and intentionally let the words “right” and wrong” fade away.

All the best,

John