I woke up with the Frank Sinatra song “All of Me“ in my head this morning. The opening lyrics are “All of me, why not take all of me . . .” One may think I could have just stopped and enjoyed the musical interlude, but I sensed there was more.

I was having a conversation with Hali, our seminar coordinator yesterday about two exceptional people helpers we both experienced and we were parsing out the differences between the two. My assessment came down to this: One was an incredible technician who could get people from A to B in a jiffy. The other wasn’t as demonstrative but his skill was getting people from A to infinity.

One was using part of him and the other, all of him.

One of the skills was teachable; the other wasn’t. Can you guess which was which?

When you give someone a pat answer, you are giving them part of you – a very well rehearsed part of you, and that is teachable. You give someone all of you when you wait for a response to form. You are drawing on all your resources at that point, not just the ones within arm’s reach. The waiting part is teachable but the response isn’t because it’s different every time, custom made for the person you are interacting with.

There are many times when pat answers fit the bill and are quite appropriate. Any questioner looking for factual data will be well served by a pat answer. Someone who hasn’t been helped by patterned answers would be better served by getting all of you.

The key to “all of me” is to wait for all the pat answers to pass by and then offer what shows up after that. That answer is coming from a much deeper reservoir and will have more impact than reciting one of your favorites again.

If you’re looking for a “Just Do It” type answer, watch a Nike commercial. That’s about as pat as you can get.

If you deem that someone deserves the best response you can give, give Sinatra’s suggestion a spin – “Why not take all of me.”

All the best,

John