The Grasshopper must love taking walks because he delivered this gem the other day during one: “When seeking help, bring your needs, not your neediness.”

What you need and what you are needy about travel on different paths. One goes towards the light of help and the other goes nowhere.

Neediness, pure and simple, is the lack of resourcefulness. A person who genuinely needs something lets what’s on the periphery go out of focus and zeros in on that specific need. Resources now have a direction to flow. The needy person is like a novice photographer at a wedding who takes thousands of pictures in rapid fire succession hoping to get some that look good. That’s called “Spray and Pray.”

Neediness contains a deep sense of lack – a lack of resources.

Neediness is a perception that doesn’t look in the direction of resources; it only focuses on lack. Looking into an empty pit is not going to fill up the hole. Looking for resources is your best option.

The needy person doesn’t think much of themselves because they are blind to their internal resources. They don’t think there’s enough of whatever it is they need. People needy about money don’t think there’s enough money to go around when, in fact, there’s more than enough. It’s what the parable of the loaves and fishes addresses.

A needy person is looking for someone else to provide for their needs when they are the own best provider. Dr. Dave Dobson made the bold claim that we are our own best therapist. He wasn’t suggesting that people not seek help; he was suggesting that they check in before they assume that what they need is out there somewhere.

You are resourceful; you just have to get focused on that part of you rather than staying glued to being needy.

Neediness is a repellent. No one wants to help a needy person because they know it’s a bottomless pit and a forever commitment – Translation: A drain.

If you are always looking for a helping hand, you’ll never handle your difficulties. That’s called not growing up. Growing up is recognizing your own resources and fashioning solutions.

When you become resourceful, that’s when you’ll discover willing people willing to lend a hand. I guess this whole post could be written more succinctly by quoting an ancient proverb: “God helps those who help themselves.”

All the best,

John