The Grasshopper offered this observation the other day: “You’re not responsible for your thoughts and feelings; you are responsible for your actions.”

How often have you beaten yourself up for your thoughts or feelings? Did that ever get you a win?

Thoughts produce feelings and feelings produce thoughts, but unless they lead to action, condemning yourself for them is an exercise in self abasement.

You can have “awful” thoughts or feelings about something or someone but unless they lead to an awful action, they’re not illegal, or condemnable for that matter.

If you are denouncing yourself for your thoughts and feelings, you’ve had sufficient training in guilt being cathartic. It isn’t.

If you want to judge yourself for something, judge yourself for your actions. They are the only things you are responsible for.

Thoughts and sensations just pop into your mind and body unannounced; you have a clutch to keep them from developing into actions.

Thoughts and sensations are not preventable; actions are.

Jimmy Carter’s admission that he looked on many women with lust and committed adultery in his heart just underscores my point. To flog yourself for biology and chemistry at work is to deny science. To take action on those thoughts and feelings may lead to impeachment.

Taking responsibility for your actions takes action. Taking responsibility for thoughts and feelings just popping up is just an idle thought.

All the best,

John