Last night I was on the phone with our seminar coordinator and we were talking about tit-for-tats and minor dust-ups when The Grasshopper interjected, “You can’t have a war if only one person is fighting.”

How many personal wars do we keep alive by our penchant to have the last word or throw the last punch? My guess is more than we imagine.

The cure for any war is always the same – Stop fighting!

When the accent is on the fight and who’s right, there is less hope for peace.

Reminds me of a story . . .

A couple of years ago I was at a golf driving range where I ran into an old acquaintance. After the hellos and handshake we went into our song and dance act we had started years before. It was for lack of a better description – “Top this!”

To the casual observer this may have appeared to be conversation but make no mistake, it was war. Who was going to have the last, potent “Ka-Pow”?

In the middle of this little sideshow, I got the gift of awareness. It dawned on me that this “conversation” was going nowhere and would end up like all the ones we had in the past – a ramping up of egos with absolutely nothing being communicated.

I stopped counter-punching and started asking questions. It turned into the most pleasant conversation I ever had with this fellow.

Put the gift of awareness on your holiday list. It’s a gift you can give to yourself and it’s the proverbial gift that keeps on giving.

Becoming aware is the ability to throw in the clutch when you’re in the middle of something and observe yourself as though you are watching someone else. Remember: It’s easier to have an opinion about someone else’s actions than it is to have one about your own.

When you disconnect from participating to observing, you get a broader view. You’re like the General on the hill observing the whole battlefield vs. being the soldier in the middle of the fray. More useful decisions are made from this vantage point. This wider view is the gift of awareness.

I hope Santa brings you everything you’re hoping for, including the subtle passageway to peace – The Gift of Awareness.

All the best,

John

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF

CALM & COLLECTED

I think, given a choice, most people would rather be smart than stupid, but when presented with the question “Would you rather be smart or savvy?”, they’re not as quick to answer.

We, as a culture, have put a premium on being smart. Some worship at the altar of intelligence and that’s really not a bad religion to have, except if you exclude people who aren’t necessarily smart but savvy.

Smart can sometimes be bonded with it’s uppity second cousin, “Superior.” Just look at some in the world of academia if you need textbook examples.

Smart, by itself, can be very limiting because of the amount of knowing that comes along with it. As The Grasshopper reminded us years ago, “When you know, you shut off the flow“ of learning.

Savvy is often treated like an underling. Sidebar: I was talking to a photography sales person about a particular product compared to another brand. I said, “So brand B is the ugly step-sister.” He responded, “But she brings the family fortune with her.”

Savvy is more open to new approaches than is smart. Savvy is more concerned with what’s possible rather than knowing all the reasons something can’t be done.

Savvy takes the facts and figures of many smart people and weaves them into a tapestry that would never exist if left to the world of knowers.

I enjoy being around smart people. They certainly can elevate a conversation and they often add to my vocabulary. I equally enjoy savvy people because they show me how to get things done.

If you run into a combination of smart and savvy, make sure to hang around that person as often as you can. Not only will you learn more but you’ll get more done.

All the best,

John

JOHN MORGAN COACHING

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF

STOP SMOKING FOREVER

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING

I LOVE MY BODY

SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT

IMPROVE YOUR SELF IMAGE

RELAX IN 2 MINUTES

FEEL FOREVER YOUNG

Dear Santa,

I know you are really busy this time of year prepping for the big day, so I thought I would offer my services helping you sort the naughty from the nice.

This should help speed things up and take some pressure off the elves.

Here are the people who should get non-burning coal in their stocking:

• ANYONE who leaves a shopping cart in the middle of a store parking lot. SIDE NOTE TO SANTA: If possible, could you have your sleigh ding their car door on Christmas Eve?

• ANYONE who knocks on doors selling their brand of religion.

• The person who invented Robo Calls.

• Any man under 50 who refers to his spouse as “The Wife.”

• Any parent who puts their child on a leash.

• People who still give fruitcakes as presents.

• White guys with completely shaved heads. (There was only one Mr. Clean).

• Anyone who smokes with children in the car.

• Anyone who starts every sentence with “I.”

• Anyone who likes the theme song for the HBO Show “Boardwalk Empire.”

• TV broadcasters who pronounce the word “Forward,” “Foe-ward.”

• Donald Trump’s hair stylist.

On first blush, this may seem like a list of pet peeves, Santa, but please trust me that these are really evil people.

I can provide more naughty folks if you find this list helpful. Just email me. Hope you and “The Mrs.” (another candidate for coal) have a wonderful holiday.

All the best,

Little Johnny

P.S. Are you responsible for radio stations starting to play Christmas music on Halloween?

You don’t have to read any of the studies on the rhythms of the body to know that you have high and low points of energy throughout the day.

I am charged in the morning and wane a bit by early afternoon. Your pattern may be different.

What is the best use of these rhythms? Paraphrasing the late Jackie Gleason, “Be going out when the tide is going out and coming in when the tide is coming in.” When you do it any other way, you stress your system.

When you hit a low point, that’s a cosmic clue to not push through. We, through conditioning, ignore the stop signs and keep on going. This may work for you for awhile, in fact, for decades. The sticky wicket is this: This pattern of ignoring your rhythms will eventually bite you in the ass.

We all admire the will of the person working two or three jobs to put food on the table and keep a roof overhead. We all recognize that schedule cannot be sustained without pain. The person may persevere for years, but payback is coming.

This is what’s going on. Your body, in its infinite wisdom, is sending you “slow down” signals in the form of less energy. For whatever the reason – conditioning, choice, necessity, you push through. Here’s the rub: There comes a point where you push through one time too many and your body rebels. It, in effect, says, “If you don’t slow down, I will slow you down.” It does that with some sort of malady.

Initially, it could be something as mundane as a nagging pain in a certain body part or the flu. But you think that a tough person like you has to push through. When you ignore the initial warning signs and the ensuing maladies for too long, your body will send you a final warning – something that will flatten you and make you take notice.

If that’s happened to you, I’m sorry, but you should be grateful. Your body has offered you an ultimatum: Pay attention to your energy or perish.

You cannot rationalize this universal truth away: Ignore your body’s rhythms and you will pay.

Your body won’t accept the labels of “Type A” or “Hard Worker” and give you a pass, because those labels are based on ideology and not something measurable like the rhythms of your body.

Let’s pretend that you pay attention for awhile after being flattened and start to feel better. If you use that as a springboard to go back to your old ignoring ways, you’re not going to get much older.

Pushing through is something we all do. When it becomes your lifestyle, payment to the piper is coming due.

All the best,

John

JOHN MORGAN COACHING

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF

STOP SMOKING FOREVER

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING

I LOVE MY BODY

SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT

IMPROVE YOUR SELF IMAGE

RELAX IN 2 MINUTES

FEEL FOREVER YOUNG

It just occurred to me that not only do “cocoon” and “womb” rhyme, they can be synonymous when it comes to hiding out.

Trend analyst, Faith Popcorn coined the term “cocooning” in the ’90s. It described the shift of people socializing less outside the home and making their homes more comfortable, like a cocoon.

I think most people can relate to getting cozy at home, but some, like me, have made it into an art form. Like elevator riding, this has its up and downs.

The up is you get to become more comfortable in your own skin and don’t need a lot of outside contact to feel alive. The downside is you miss a lot of the evolving world because yours has stopped turning.

In and out is a game of balance. Leaning too much to one side or the other has you tip over which can cause you to burrow deeper or forever chase the horizon. Either one of those options is the womb you’re attempting to crawl back into.

The good news is that you’re not at the point of no return if you stop and recognize where you are. It’s the recognition of your current geography that allows you to triangulate to a more balanced life.

Seeking the womb is an attempt to avoid life, rather than live it. Whether the womb you seek is inside or out, it’s a pursuit that will keep you off balance, and the safety you seek will always be out of reach.

“They can’t hurt me in here” is the mantra of the womb dweller. Whether you are seeking your safety in numbers or whether you’re attempting it home alone, it’s a false sense of security that has you hear every bump in the night.

You may not live on either of these edges and that’s to be applauded. My purpose is to point them out so that when you approach them, you only visit for awhile and not put down permanent roots.

“All in” or “All out” are not sustainable positions. They are filled with unrelenting tension to sure up your location, when what you really need is a womb-less vacation.

All the best,

John

JOHN MORGAN COACHING

LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF

STOP SMOKING FOREVER

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING

I LOVE MY BODY

SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT

IMPROVE YOUR SELF IMAGE

RELAX IN 2 MINUTES

FEEL FOREVER YOUNG