There is a noticeable difference between hard and soft landings. Ask any passenger who’s been on a plane when it made a giant thud when landing and had them bounce in their seat. It’s unsettling.

Contrast that with the smooth landing – whisper quiet and pillow soft.

We experience both hard and soft landings in life and we all show a preference for the softer ones. The arithmetic is, though, that we will experience a certain percentage of hard landings and we rarely know they are coming. That last part is a definition of reality.

What serves us best after landing hard?

We will have our involuntary reaction to the landing, but what we do next will determine how long we stay unsettled.

Staying with the reaction too long will produce drama, and drama is like most TV spin-off series; it keeps the story line alive well past its expiration date.

What to do?

Allow your reaction to have its say. Just don’t provide it with a pulpit. The minute you begin to repeat your reaction, you are headed towards drama. That’s when it’s time to seek out a response. A response, unlike a reaction, is not on the surface level; you have to dig for it, and finding it is like finding oil.

The good news is, the field you’re digging in is loaded with responses. No dry wells here.

The key to finding a response is to notice that you are giving your reaction too much time in the spotlight. Just noticing your reaction, while it is happening, is enough of a stimulus to put a shovel in your hand.

The tendency is to stay on the surface and justify our reaction, or enlist people to form a support group for it. To go Beverly Hillbillies on you, there’s no “Texas Tea” in those strategies.

It’s natural to have natural reactions; it’s therapeutic to seek out a response. Prolonged reactions will keep you stuck; responses offer alternatives.

I’m sorry if you’ve had a hard landing and now you know how to soften the blow. Dig for a response that’s different from your reaction. Responses will take you places that reactions don’t know exist.

All the best,

John

JOHN MORGAN COACHING

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