We live between the tick and the tock of a clock. That pause between sounds is where life is.

It seems we stay focused on the tick and the tock and ignore the silence between them. This is ignoring the wellspring of creativity.

Life is a dynamic, creative adventure, not a static collection of ticks and tocks.

The ticks and tocks we experience in life are only made possible by the creative silence that lies beneath and between them.

Any graphic designer worth their paycheck will attest that a great design is the utilization of the space that gives their designs life. The brushstrokes or keystrokes only come alive when the silent partner, space, is sufficiently used.

You can have the most exquisite furniture that money can buy, but if you crowd it into a room, it cannot be fully appreciated without respecting space. Reminds me of a story . . .

My mother had an eye for exquisite things and diligently saved to buy what she could afford. She lived in a mobile home and decorated it with pieces you would see in Architectural Digest. The problem arose when you attempted to walk around. You couldn’t.

These lovely pieces – breakfront, grandmother clock, expansive coffee table, antique desk, overstuffed chair and a large sofa buried in decorative throw pillows made walking around in her home a high wire act and an exercise in baby steps.

She was caught up in the tick and the tock. All the pieces were beautiful; she just crammed them into a space where their beauty couldn’t shine.

Ticks and tocks are to be celebrated and appreciated. They just can’t be confused with life which lives in the space between them.

If you are a clock watcher, begin to pay attention to the space between tick and tock. It’s this space where all the creativity of life takes place.

All the best,

John

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Something has left the building and I’m not certain it’s coming back.

Perhaps it’s cyclical and will return, but my sense is it’s on death’s doorstep and circling the drain.

Traditionally we have seen it wane in difficult times and have witnessed its rebirth when the smoke cleared, but my sense is not this time.

We don’t recognize the demise because it’s insidious and sneaks up on us.

What is about to leave this planet and leave us less civil? (please cue Aretha Franklin)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Respect for our fellow man is at an all time low and the bar is getting lower.

I’m not sure even Tinker Bell can save respect.

I wouldn’t even attempt to cite the reasons for its downfall because they would fill up libraries. (For younger readers: That’s where you go for peace and quiet to read your Kindle or iPad)

I would offer a remedy but I’m fresh out of ideas.

It’s time to call the family and say “Goodbye.”

Who among us will deliver the eulogy?

Perhaps no one can because dementia has universally set in and we can’t remember what respect was like.

I wish I could be more upbeat and point to a silver lining, but since respect has been subject to caustic elements for so long, I believe it’s tarnished beyond repair.

I can’t officially pronounce its death because that would be disrespectful of your ability to resuscitate it.

If that’s something you want to attempt, you have my undying respect.

All the best,

John

I have never read “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” but I understand that one of the differences outlined between men and women is this: Women complain about problems because they want their problems to be acknowledged, while men complain about problems because they are asking for solutions.

That should not surprise any couple in a relationship because that complaining scenario plays out on a regular basis.

What’s interesting to me is the role that bitching plays in bonding.

Men, by and large, don’t bond as deeply with other men as women do with other women. It’s the bitch factor.

Men may piss and moan for awhile with other men and then look for an action plan to move forward. They won’t stay in complaint mode long enough to forge a bond with other men, or women for that matter.

It will come as no surprise to you that, as a man, I’m not a big fan of bitching because it doesn’t lend itself to a way forward. What I’m coming around to is that bitching may be a foundational step that most men are missing in their efforts to form bonds with others.

The bitching/bonding method is a slower way to get to a solution, but it promotes a better connection between the people seeking solutions.

There are “no nonsense” women among us, but, like men, they just don’t bond as well as the women who allow for complaints.

I may never totally warm to complaining, but I’m beginning to recognize the glue it provides to bonding.

Allowing for bitching longer than your current comfort zone allows, may be the stretch needed to form a bond which will still be in place long after a solution is reached.

All the best,

John

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It seems so obvious but the only time we can make a choice is now.

That means that every current moment is a choice point.

What is it that you can choose every time you become aware of the moment? – Your response to what the moment presents.

The only thing that keeps choice hidden from view is our patterned thinking that we don’t have a choice.

Reminds me of a story . . .

I was presenting a workshop some years ago illustrating that we always have a choice. I asked a participant if someone had a gun to her head and told her to move from one place to another if she had a choice in the matter. She emphatically said, “No.”

I was quick to point out that she did have a choice – to move or not move. Of course, the choice to not move had a high risk of death, but there was a choice present.

Most of our choice points are not that risky, yet they are also not that obvious, due to the conditioning we have received that we don’t have choices.

How many times have we heard someone say, “I had no choice”? That’s not accurate. What is really being said there is, “If you were presented with the same set of circumstances I was, you would have done what I did.” Meaning we would have made the same choice.

There are opportunities presented by choice but we won’t explore them if we believe we have no choice.

You have a choice every moment. You can let the choice be made for you by letting your patterned thinking that you don’t have one stay in place, OR you can recognize that you always have a say.

There is freedom in recognizing choice – The freedom to choose.

It’s really this simple: When you fail to recognize choice, you diminish your options.

Open your eyes to what choices the moment presents and you will see more options.

Choose or don’t choose; it’s your choice!

All the best,

John

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It seems on Election Day we vote for someone else to do our bidding and represent our interests.

We parcel out that job to someone else because we cannot or choose not to do it ourselves. It’s somewhat like hiring an electrician to do something you are unwilling or incapable of doing. The difficulty, as I see it, is that we pay more attention to the quality of the electrician we hire than we do our elected representatives.

This “someone else” is your voice in congress. If you don’t vet them, you have no idea how capable they are.

“Oh, they have to be good to pass the electrician’s test” you may say. Remember that someone had to graduate at the bottom of their class.

Today you may choose to leave it to others to elect someone else. That’s like letting your neighbor decide which electrician will work on your house. It could, after all, be their inept brother-in-law.

Call me crazy, but I want to know the quality of the person doing my bidding and I don’t want my neighbor deciding on who works on my house.

Bottom line: If you choose not to participate in the process, your chances of a power outage are much greater.

Al the best,

John

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