Being Remembered
Most folks don’t get eulogized until they’re dead. Pity.
One of the exceptions to this practice is being remembered when you are alive. It usually happens in abbreviated form once, twice or maybe three times a year for most – birthdays, holidays, etc.
This remembrance usually comes in the form of greeting cards, or now, electronic wishes, gifts, phone calls, and sometimes, Skype.
As I get older, I wonder why we don’t fully eulogize people while they’re living, at least once. Embarrassment comes to mind, for them or for us.
How did we get so insulated that we can’t bring ourselves to tell people what they mean or meant to us while they are here to appreciate it?
How many people utter the regretful words, “I should have told them while they were living”?
What words or sentiments are you saving for when someone dies? Here’s a novel idea: Let them know before they go.
Reminds me of a story . . . My father was not a hugger for the most part – I am. Somewhere in my 30’s, I took the initiative and began to hug him and give him a kiss the few times a year we saw each other. Although it was his conditioning not to show that kind of affection, he truly enjoyed it and eventually initiated the embrace.
I remember driving to my uncle’s funeral and having a couple of hours of alone time with my Dad. I got to hear many stories about things I never knew about him. They shed a lot of light on some of the behaviors and attitudes I had that were just like my father’s. As I was leaving to drive back home, my Dad walked me out to my car. It was there and then that I decided to tell him what he meant to me.
I told him lots of things that he did for me growing up that I would never forget and ended it with telling him that he was my hero. He dismissed the compliment and then gave me the best hug I ever got from him.
My Dad is gone now but I got to remember him while he was living. It was one of my favorite moments and, I suspect, one of his as well.
Special people come in and out of our lives and we don’t think to fully remember them until they move on or are gone.
I’ll admit, it takes a certain amount of courage to initiate this type of living eulogy but the rewards last a lifetime.
All the best,
John
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