GrasshopperNotes.com - Thoughts for inspired living


May 26, 2009

Can’t Explain Pain

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:25 am

Veterinarians are probably the best diagnosticians because their patients can’t explain the pain.

Humans on the other hand, equipped with language, are equally inept in explaining pain but it doesn’t keep us from talking about it.

My best suggestion is to talk only with your physician or counselor about pain. But even then, it’s hard to explain.

One of the saddest and most freeing discoveries you will make in this lifetime is you can’t explain your pain.

Words are poor substitutes for feelings – always have been and always will be.

Explaining pain is like explaining infinity. We think because we have a word for it, we have captured its essence and can easily communicate it to another. It’s a conceptual discussion that lacks action.

Someone recently asked me my feelings about something and I responded, “I can’t explain the pain.” I recognized it was there but I knew it was futile to make an effort to put it into words. I wouldn’t get a clearer understanding going down the explanation trail nor would the well meaning questioner.

Feeling pain is something that goes counter to our culture. Just look at the ads on any TV program and you will find a proposed remedy for your pain. We have been conditioned that pain is not supposed to exist and that it must be dispensed with immediately.

I would be the first person in line for a pain killer when suffering severe pain. See my blog post called VACATION DAY.

We have not been taught to explore pain. After we explain it, we want to “medicate” it away – pain killers, tranquilizers, alcohol, recreational drugs, excess food consumption, etc.

We make the primal mistake that we are first and foremost logical beings when in fact we are patterned creatures. We have automated our reaction to pain by attempting to explain. The specious thinking goes something like this: “If I explain it one more time, I’ll be free of it.” Enter my favorite Chinese quote, again – “Talk doesn’t cook rice.”

So the sad part is we can’t explain pain no matter how hard we try. The freeing news is we can explore pain and move through it. When we don’t move through pain, it hangs around longer than is necessary and continually plagues us.

Note: This is in no way a recommendation to ignore pain. Some people – the stiff upper lip crowd – are pain deniers and experience pain much longer than is necessary. I like to refer to them as the “Sack cloth sissies.” They are too afraid to face the real issue and endure the self imposed minor pain of denial to take its place.

This is an invitation to move your awareness to your pain and keep it there. The initial reaction will be to flee. It’s foreign to us to just feel rather than explain.

This doesn’t mean to have an internal conversation about your pain. Awareness doesn’t speak. Become aware of the pain. All pain has a physical component in your body. Find out where that pain is registering in your body and sit with it. Hold hands with it and explore the feeling.

This is an exercise in metabolizing pain rather than have it hang around undigested in your body.

I could make an effort to explain how this procedure works but that would just be more talk delaying the action.

Start slow and build up. Find a minor pain, emotional or physical, and feel it fully in your body. Don’t attempt to do anything with it other than put your awareness on it and feel it. You may become distracted because this is something new and out of your comfort zone. Notice the distraction and go back to the feeling experience.

There is something for you on the other side of pain; it’s just something that I can’t explain.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

SAVE THE IRISH



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May 25, 2009

Memorial Day

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:30 am

Happy Memorial Day!

Keep those who love and protect us

out of harm’s way.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

SAVE THE IRISH



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May 22, 2009

A Present

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:06 am

As we head into the Memorial Day Weekend in America, The Grasshopper offers us a present. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Pretend there is no other time than the present and you won’t be pretending.

Rely on the fact that you’re in a moment that will never be here again. Take advantage.

Experience all this moment has to offer.

Sense that you are in the midst of something unique. You are.

Enrich yourself with the gifts each moment brings.

Nourish your spirit now.

Trust that each moment is exactly as it should be.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

SAVE THE IRISH

P.S. As the T-Shirt weather arrives, make sure to see the FUN ones at the SAVE THE IRISH Shop at the following link:

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/6714424

People will notice you.



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May 21, 2009

Opinion

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:16 am

I once asked my grandson if he had an opinion on something. He was about 9 at the time. He asked, “What is an opinion?” I gave my best answer and forgot about the discussion until recently.

“What is an opinion?” is a question we rarely ask ourselves because we have it confused with truth.

Notice how we tend to spout opinions as though they are facts. Watch or listen to any current events TV or radio talk show, or eavesdrop on any supermarket deli conversation and you will find opinion draped in its flowing costume pretending to be fact.

We all do it.

Here’s the rub. Opinion is opinion and fact is fact and rarely do they ever meet.

Opinions are assumptions. The good news is many assumptions that can’t be proved lead to facts. Columbus’ voyage comes to mind.

The downside is many assumptions leave out many of the facts. It’s what is known as “Selective Perception.” Reminds me of a story I’ve told before . . .

Dr. Dave Dobson was telling us about his purchase of a new Volvo. The day he drove his new car off the lot, he noticed many of the same cars coming in his direction in the opposite lane. He said, “That damn salesman paid people to drive Volvos in my direction so I would feel good about purchasing this car.” It was his way of teaching us Selective Perception.

Jerry Stocking in his sales course talks about how most salespeople misuse equations when they claim that X=Y. “This is the best pen ever made.” This pen – “X” = Best pen ever made – “Y.” That’s an opinion represented as a fact.

Take the same equation and put it into a relationship. “You are insensitive to my needs.” You – “X” = Insensitive to my needs – “Y.” His recommendation is to make X=X. In this case “you” = “you” and “insensitive” = “insensitive.” The minute you have one equaling the other, you’re in for an opposing opinion smackdown.

Jerry offers that people would be better served talking about their feelings about something rather than labeling it as fact. “When you do (fill in the blank), I feel like you don’t love me.” That’s an unvarnished opinion not pretending to be anything else.

We are all entitled to our opinions. The question not often asked is, “How well are they serving me?”

Chances are your opinions get in the way more often than not due to mislabeling them as fact.

It’s my opinion that we would all be better off by taking stock of our opinions and see how often we have them in costume masquerading as facts.

Find out how many of your X=Y equations can’t be proved. Take the home study course today and factually find out how opinionated you are.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

SAVE THE IRISH

P.S. If you haven’t emailed the following link to all your Irish friends yet, I request you do so today.

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/6714424

They will thank you for turning them on to all the fun items they’ll find at the SAVE THE IRISH Shop. (Opinion)



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May 20, 2009

Rules

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:16 am

Here’s an observation I’ve made after interacting with hundreds of thousands of clients: The more rules you have, the less flexible you are – mentally and physically.

Inflexibility is the number one clue that you have lots of rules.

We all have rules whether we admit to them or not. Many of them are quite useful. Never swim in a lobster tank nude comes to mind. There are notable others that keep us safe and functioning and are worth hanging on to.

The difficulty I see with rules is that we don’t take time to investigate our list. If you make the effort, one discovery you will make is that most of your rules are not yours. They belong to someone else and you got them through the osmosis of social, cultural and parental conditioning.

The next discovery you’ll want to make is finding out how well they’re working for you.

Here’s a little exercise I do when I have a client who is bogged down with rules. I tell them that I believe it was Aristotle who said that “perception is 100%.” And I go on to say, “I know some extraordinary, ancient Babylonian determined there are 360 degrees in a circle.” After this little preamble, I have them physically position themselves on the arc of the circle from where they view life.

Next, I put my hands on the outside of their shoulders and shift them a few degrees in either direction. It’s amazing to watch their face and physiology change just from this subtle perception shift. They immediately become lighter and more flexible.

Perception comes from our angle of approach. Our rules come from our perceptions. Shift your perspective and watch your spine fusing inflexibility begin to melt and fade away. It’s really that basic.

The famous story of the pot roast comes to mind.

A newlywed wife cooked her first dinner for her husband. She prepared pot roast. The husband enjoyed the meal and asked one question. “Why did you cut off the ends of the pot roast before cooking it?” She said, “That’s the way my mother does it.” He asked her to call her mother and find out why. The mother said that her mother had always done it that way. They got grandma on the phone and asked her why she did it that way. She told them when she first got married she only had one roasting pan and it was too small for a pot roast, so to make it fit, she cut off a piece of each end.

Rules are purposeful. What you may not recognize is that you have outgrown the purpose while your rules remain in place and so does the inflexibility.

If you’re looking for a new rule to live by, here’s one to consider: More options are presented to those who are more flexible.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

SAVE THE IRISH

P.S. Please email this link to all your Irish friends.

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/6714424

They will thank you for turning them on to all the fun items they’ll find at the SAVE THE IRISH Shop.



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May 19, 2009

Welcome

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:01 am

What a terrific feeling – Welcome!

When it becomes more than a concept, welcome reaches into your being and the sensation is unmistakable.

Who or what makes you feel welcomed?

There is no faking welcome. It’s a feeling you can trust and one that’s to be treasured.

Permit me to ask again, who or what makes you feel welcomed?

Find more time for those persons or places and enjoy the feeling.

I believe the key to being more welcomed is to become more welcoming. I wish I had a secret formula to share on how to do this but I don’t. My best guess is to model those that do it well and have it sneak up on you over time.

Maybe there is a faster way but I haven’t found it yet.

Here’s a thought: The catalyst for most things is pursuit. Oftentimes, the pursuit of something is as rewarding as the destination itself.

Pursue welcome and my guess is you’ll begin to see it everywhere.

I just said “Thank you” to The Grasshopper for the idea for today’s post. He said the magic words: “You’re Welcome!”

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

SAVE THE IRISH

P.S. Please tell your Irish friends about my new SAVE THE IRISH Shop on Café Press. They will thank you for turning them on to all the fun items they’ll find at the SAVE THE IRISH Shop.



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May 18, 2009

Pain

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 9:01 am

Who hasn’t experienced pain? It’s a staple of the human condition. Some seem to experience it more than others but we all know what it feels like for us.

I got to wondering about the causes for pain, physical and emotional. It seems the physical has more of an evidence trail but sometimes we are still clueless about its origins. Emotional pain also leaves clues but sometimes it is buried so deep that it escapes investigation.

Walking Snuffy the black nosed beagle is a wonderful spiritual practice for me. I get so many ideas while absorbed in this ritual. This morning the word “Pain” came to mind. I immediately knew it was an acronym – P.A.I.N.

A few steps later the acronym had meaning – Past Actions I‘ve Negated.

It may not explain the cause for all of our pain but it’s a useful place to start.

The elephant in the room is not your behavior. That’s the elephant dung.

The cause of your behavior is the problematic pachyderm.

The cause of your pain is what needs to be addressed and it can be addressed more fully when you bring the focus away from others and on to yourself.

Let’s suppose that you develop diabetes. Your physician may ask if it runs in your family. If the answer is “Yes,” you have found your cause, or have you? Or did you negate the lifestyle you lead that lead to your disease? I have a different view of heredity and disease. This is it. “If you do what they did, you get what they got.”

Have you noticed that false teeth are not as common today as they were in the 40’s and 50’s? That’s because most people have better dental hygiene than they had then. I’m sure there was some explanation of heredity given to adults of that generation when their gums became inflamed causing them to lose their teeth.

Long term emotional pain has a cause. What past action are you negating? As long as you take no responsibility for your pain, it will endure. You can try and cover it over with self medicating of some sort but that just leads to a life of shoveling elephant shit from one pile to another.

We keep our pain alive when we cover over its cause. Again, if you are looking past your part in this painful ordeal, you are emotionally myopic.

Past actions don’t have a statute of limitations. They follow you more closely than your shadow.

What do you continue to lie to yourself about? That’s a question that reveals a pain alleviating answer. Once you stop negating the cause, you bring it up for exploration and you can then begin the process of moving through the pain. (Read about that process here).

If you continue to pooh-pooh your past actions, you’ll postpone your prescription and remain in pain.

Take time to address the P.A.I.N. and learn one of life’s best magic tricks – how to make the elephant disappear.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com

SAVE THE IRISH

P.S. If you are Irish or come from Irish roots or have Irish friends, you must visit the SAVE THE IRISH Shop I have set up on Café Press. It is loaded with all sorts of products that celebrate the amazing self-deprecating humor of the Irish.

From T-Shirts to Mugs, Caps to Keepsakes, Baby Bibs to Beer Steins, Coaster Tiles to Thongs, it’s all there with two fun designs to choose from. (See below)

If you are looking for that one of a kind gift for an Irish relative or friend, check out my SAVE THE IRISH Shop on Café Press.




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May 15, 2009

Warming

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:46 am

I was treated to another unseasonably cool May day in New England when I awakened this morning. I’ve lived here for 29 years and I cannot remember a May that was as cool and wet as this one. It’s a rare occurance to turn on the heat in May but the house needed warming this morning.

It got me to wondering about another type of warming – personal warming.

Have you ever said, “I can’t warm up to that person”? What you are actually describing is restricted blood flow in your body. That person is a stimulus and coolness is the response.

Coolness doesn’t add to communication. It makes you shiver and shut down.

I now have “Global Warming” in a new frame. How can you warm up to the entire global populace if you can’t warm up to one?

Personal warmth is about being open with all you come in contact with. How often have we let our conditioning shut us down and turn off the heat?

The quickest way to numbing cool is judgement. The minute we let judgement go on for more than a few seconds, the quicker we encounter a snow squall. We have to de-ice our wings or this plane is going nowhere.

We begin to warm up when we allow our judgements to pass.

The benefit of this action is twofold:

  1. You warm up.
  2. You distribute your heat.

So this works for narcissists and altruists alike.

People can feel another’s warmth. When you are in that warm environment, it’s easier to interact.

Coolness is a tactic that has its place. When it becomes your life’s strategy, you will spend a lot of time in ice-o-lation.

Other people are our resources and we theirs. When we continue to affix labels and the attendant judgements that go with them to others, our chances of warming up just moved to Siberia and so did any chance for mutual benefit.

If you are having a hard time warming up to people, take a look at your judgements. They are conditioned patterns that could use some thawing out.

Here’s an experiment to validate this notion in your own world: Put your judgements away for a day and witness your warmth come out to play.

Now that’s cool!

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com



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May 14, 2009

Baby Steps

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:25 am

Can you remember a time you saw a baby walk for the first time? It’s quite the experience to witness. It’s a joyous moment with lots of hoopla.

We seem to forget how to celebrate baby steps.

It seems we now need to have lengthy leaps before we even consider celebrating, and they don’t happen that often. That gives us less to celebrate and less to feel good about.

We also fail to remember that it was the baby step that launched our walking career. We forget the foundational and focus entirely on fruition. If you can only feel good when the job’s complete, you’ll spend many days, weeks, months, years or decades without celebrating.

There’s an old song whose title says it all – LITTLE THINGS MEAN A LOT.

We as a society look for sweeping changes. We don’t notice that when a sweeping change comes, the tipping point was caused by a baby step that preceded it.

Reminds me of a story . . .

About 7 years ago I was attending a workshop conducted by Jerry Stocking. There was a woman in the room who had expressive eyebrows. Jerry noticed and asked her to focus on doing something different with her eyebrows over the next few days. He said much of who you currently perceive yourself to be is tied up in the little eyebrow pattern you run. Her only assignment was to work on the eyebrow routine. Within a day, people started to notice a shift in her behavior. By the end of the week, it was like night and day.

It was a little thing.

What little thing can you adjust? What baby step can you take now?

Reminds me of another story . . .

I noticed that I became agitated when I saw the kitchen trash container didn’t have a plastic bag inside. That meant that I or someone else had taken the trash out and neglected to replace the bag. It would be at least a 3 to 5 minute rant in my head about the bag not being replaced. The day the pattern shifted is when I noticed a little thing. The little thing I noticed was that it took 12 seconds to replace the bag. Once this came into my awareness, I did an assessment. Do I do 5 minutes of destructive diatribe or do I take a 12 second action?

I outgrew the trash can rant by noticing a little thing.

Small changes seem to cause a chain reaction. Large changes don’t seem to last. I’m sure there are exceptions to the contrary, but I don’t think there are many.

I think of dieting. There are lots of large changes that go along with dieting and you see the results – lose/gain. But suppose you notice that you don’t completely chew your food while eating. Then you take a baby step to focus on the act of chewing. Let’s say you bring that new focus to your eating for 21 days. You now have automated that new behavior. Without doing anything else, you would lose some weight and keep it off. It’s a little thing.

Don’t get caught up in the idea that the change has to be important. After all, how important are expressive eyebrows? Find some little thing that you do and go to work on it. Think of it as a spiritual practice. What you will notice is that other shifts will automatically happen as a result of completing this one tiny baby step.

Take a baby step today and notice how soon you are off and running in a new direction.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com



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May 13, 2009

Interesting

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:50 am

I’m sure you’ve noticed that words have different meanings when they are said in a different tone. That’s one of the reasons that emails are not really a highly effective form of communication. The written or typed word leaves lots of room for interpretation.

The spoken word is catching up. I’ve noticed the word “interesting” is one of the words that contains myriad meanings in speech. It’s a catch-all word that people are using with increasing frequency.

For example, if someone asks you if you like something, you can respond with “that’s quite interesting.” It says nothing but it covers the base and you dodge the question.

Someone posits an idea and you say, “how interesting.” You may think it’s the dumbest idea you have ever heard, but “interesting” let’s you contribute without contributing. It’s sort of like charitable deductions on your taxes. If they ever added up the money people claimed they gave to charity, the churches and organizations listed would never need another dime.

People are using “interesting” to get off the commitment hook. They don’t have to engage when they use it and it keeps them on the sidelines of the conversation. It’s a great tool when used sparingly.

The genuine use of the word “interesting” is incomplete as well. When we authentically say something is interesting, it’s as though we are stating a fact. We aren’t. We’re stating an opinion.

I have a recommendation. I suggest that when you state that something is interesting, that you add the words “to me” to the end. This completes the word interesting and references it to you.

I don’t think anyone will ever define the word “interesting” because it is one of the most fluffy, elastic words in our language. But referencing it to you keeps it out of the world of fact and into the realm of opinion, where it truly belongs.

Many words can use a “to me” addendum. Here are a few to consider: Boring, ugly, pompous, selfish, funny, and sexy. The list is endless.

The telltale clue that you need “to me” is when you are about to make an assertion about someone or something. “He’s . . .” She’s . . .” “It’s . . .

“Facts,” even if they are baseless, bring up counter facts and off to the races you go – facting each other.

When you add “to me,” you take ownership of the assessment and don’t imply that everyone has to agree with you.

When you stop stating facts and start offering opinions, there is a lot more wiggle room in the conversation – room for something new to develop, rather than the same old stimulus/response that “facts” bring up.

Isn’t this interesting? It is to me.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

http://HypnosisForDogs.com



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