Rules
Here’s an observation I’ve made after interacting with hundreds of thousands of clients: The more rules you have, the less flexible you are – mentally and physically.
Inflexibility is the number one clue that you have lots of rules.
We all have rules whether we admit to them or not. Many of them are quite useful. Never swim in a lobster tank nude comes to mind. There are notable others that keep us safe and functioning and are worth hanging on to.
The difficulty I see with rules is that we don’t take time to investigate our list. If you make the effort, one discovery you will make is that most of your rules are not yours. They belong to someone else and you got them through the osmosis of social, cultural and parental conditioning.
The next discovery you’ll want to make is finding out how well they’re working for you.
Here’s a little exercise I do when I have a client who is bogged down with rules. I tell them that I believe it was Aristotle who said that “perception is 100%.” And I go on to say, “I know some extraordinary, ancient Babylonian determined there are 360 degrees in a circle.” After this little preamble, I have them physically position themselves on the arc of the circle from where they view life.
Next, I put my hands on the outside of their shoulders and shift them a few degrees in either direction. It’s amazing to watch their face and physiology change just from this subtle perception shift. They immediately become lighter and more flexible.
Perception comes from our angle of approach. Our rules come from our perceptions. Shift your perspective and watch your spine fusing inflexibility begin to melt and fade away. It’s really that basic.
The famous story of the pot roast comes to mind.
A newlywed wife cooked her first dinner for her husband. She prepared pot roast. The husband enjoyed the meal and asked one question. “Why did you cut off the ends of the pot roast before cooking it?” She said, “That’s the way my mother does it.” He asked her to call her mother and find out why. The mother said that her mother had always done it that way. They got grandma on the phone and asked her why she did it that way. She told them when she first got married she only had one roasting pan and it was too small for a pot roast, so to make it fit, she cut off a piece of each end.
Rules are purposeful. What you may not recognize is that you have outgrown the purpose while your rules remain in place and so does the inflexibility.
If you’re looking for a new rule to live by, here’s one to consider: More options are presented to those who are more flexible.
All the best,
John
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