It seems kind of silly to say that we wear goggles every day, but we do. They are our windows to the world.

The problem is we don’t know we perceive our world through the prism of goggles because we can’t see them.

Our goggles are our patterns.

You’ve heard the expression “Rose colored glasses”? That’s just assigning a color to someone’s patterns.

We view our world once removed. That means there is reality, and then our perception of it through our goggles.

Patterns are very useful. They help us automate so many behaviors that would be tedious to relearn every time we use them. They are also our biggest stumbling block.

Many patterns keep us from seeing clearly. Think of them as fogged up goggles.

How many times have you had the thought, “I should have seen that coming”? You couldn’t have possibly seen it wearing gunked up goggles.

The way to see more clearly is to inspect your goggles and clean them up from time to time.

Have you ever taken off a pair of sunglasses and noticed how dirty the lenses have gotten without you recognizing it? You may laugh and wonder how you could have possibly seen anything through those things, and then you take the time to clean them. Your world is much clearer after that happens.

What are you not seeing? It may be an opportunity or it may be a pitfall. You won’t see either with bird shit on your goggles.

So the two steps to seeing more clearly are:

1. Recognize you are wearing goggles.
2. Clean them up from time to time.

Recognition is the key to transformation; cleaning the lenses is your guarantee of a brighter future.

Pass the Windex, please.

All the best,

John

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I remember the “Church Lady” character from SNL asking in a derogatory way, “Well, isn’t that special?”

Her intent was to communicate that whatever she was remarking about wasn’t really special.

I heard The Grasshopper say yesterday, “Special is not who we are but what flows through us.”

How often do we get caught up in thinking that we, personally, are special? The most severe cases of special thinking appear when we witness ourselves or someone else speaking in the third person. For example, Bill Smith saying, “Bill Smith always votes in every election.” Bill thinks he’s special. He’s not, and neither are we.

Special is not who you are or what you do; it’s the creative force that flows through you. Now that’s special!

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take credit for your accomplishment. Please take a bow. Just don’t get caught up in thinking that you’re something special.

Pure and simple, we are a vessel for special.

When we think special rules apply to us, we’re caught up in the caste system of special. It smacks of superiority and leads towards separation rather than inclusion. When we believe we are special, we always have a wedge at the ready to put between us and some unwashed denizen of the planet.

The instant thinking is: “I’m not like them,” which is another way of saying “I’m special.”

The best antidote I ever heard for special came from author, Eckhart Tolle. I’ll paraphrase what he said. “If you don’t think you have anything in common with someone, remember this: In “X” number of years you’ll be total equals; you’ll both be rotting corpses.”

If you truly want to be special, look for the specialness we all have in common.

All the best,

John

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“These little town blues are melting away.” So sings Frank Sinatra in New York, New York.

The song is more about new starts than it is about New York. In order for new to begin, old has to melt away.

Sometimes the transition from old to new is abrupt and that can be painful. When the past slowly, but systematically, drips away, the conversion is more permanent.

The area of weight loss is the prime example of how drastic changes rarely last. Most dieters go on a monastic diet, and are successful in rapidly losing weight. They are equally successful in gaining it back. Just monitor the long-term progress of contestants of “The Biggest Loser” or any one of Oprah‘s diets to validate this for yourself.

Melting away the past has better odds of success and it takes longer than most people are willing to wait.

If you snap an icicle, it still exists; it’s just in a different location. When it melts away, its residue finds its way down the drain, and there is much less pain.

We aren’t a very patient people. The systems are in place for us to succeed, but our desire to make change quicker than the system allows has us throw logic out the window.

The answer to “How do I speed up winter so it doesn’t last as long?” is “Move to Florida.”

If you are making a new start, it helps to begin slowly and build on your success at regular intervals. When you apply this method, you get to the dripping point much quicker. This is when a “Snowball’s chance in Hell” is a good thing.

All the best,

John

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We live in a “Gizmo” society. We are bombarded with messages that if we only had a specific gizmo, we’d have the world on a string.

The mentality and marketing is pervasive. What golfer hasn’t bought a new club expecting it to improve his or her game? I can’t tell you the amount of money I’ve spent on photography gear over the years. The hope was that this equipment would make me the next Francesco Scavullo or Ansel Adams. Truth be told, the person at Wal-Mart, shaking the bunny and taking pictures of your children, is more proficient than me.

Reminds me of a story . . .

I remember when my kids were younger and they would ask me for more expensive gizmos, offering up the logic that it would make them better. We lived near a rundown school where an NBA Basketball player had attended. The court at the school was a patchwork quilt of uneven asphalt pieces. I said, “If Ernie “D” could learn to play basketball on that court, you can learn to be better with the current equipment you have.”

A new gizmo will not make you better. It’s always how well you use a gizmo that gets you results.

We have this notion that what we need is outside of ourselves. That’s misplaced credit.

Reminds me of another story . . .

My late mentor, Dr. Dave Dobson, a legendary hypnotherapist, would say, “Everyone is their own best therapist.” He would point out that people would give him credit for the changes they had made never knowing it was them who actually made the change. His claim was that he provided the environment where that change could happen. People giving him credit was misplaced credit. This ability was always within them, yet they ascribed all the accolades to him.

I have a friend who is a “Perpetual Student.” His underlying belief is that he always needs “one more class.” This is one of the most knowledgeable people I know but he has a severe case of “Misplaced Credit.” He thinks the missing piece is out there somewhere. It’s not.

I’m all for seeking help and taking classes; those practices open our eyes and hone our skills. Where the logic falls apart is when we believe that it’s the outside force that will make us better. It isn’t. And when we don’t get the results we want, we go seeking another class or teacher.

Rarely do we just work with what we already have. We don’t give ourselves enough credit. We’re too busy misplacing it.

I don’t think I’m going to stop buying photography equipment anytime soon, but I do know this: I have all the equipment I need right now to develop what I want. I just have to make the time to get more familiar with my current equipment to get picture perfect results.

All the best,

John

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It seems there is a psychology that goes along with either “Past” or “Future.”

The “Past” folks want things the way they were; the “Future” folks want things the way they should be.

There is also a sensation that goes along with each viewpoint, especially when it runs into an opposing view. For the future seekers it’s frustration; for those longing for the past it’s a sense of sadness and madness.

The “Future-ites” are frustrated when they can’t convince others to create a plan that is crystal clear to them. The “Past-ies” are mad that their world is changing and severely dig in their heels.

When you get a “Past” and “Future” together, you can expect an ideological scrimmage. It plays out every day – Old vs. Young, Conservative vs. Liberal, Texter vs. Emailer – the list is ever growing.

The results of the daily clash between the two leads to an argument as to who is right rather than a common strategy to right any wrongs.

The focus is on the fight and who’s right rather than results. It would be like two football teams hurling insults at each other from their respective sidelines for 60 minutes rather than playing the game.

Here is something we rarely reflect on: There is no past or future in now.

“What can I do now?” is a question to ask that brings us back from the frustration or sadness of future or past.

Now gets you focused.

Imagine you’re driving through a major snowstorm. Then imagine one of these two monologues in your head:

“It didn’t used to snow this much, the road crews were out much quicker, and, damn it, people drove more carefully in the snow back then.”

“They should really come up with a way to put warming rods under the asphalt to melt this before it becomes problematic. Why don’t they invent solar powered, snow blowing panels along the side of the highway? How come no one is doing these things?”

You just know these two people are going to crash into each other. Why? Because neither one of them is paying attention to the snow now.

Focusing on now and the situation at hand suspends diversionary trips to the past or future, and doesn’t add the baggage of sadness or frustration.

There will be plenty of time to yearn for the good old days or lament that the future isn’t getting here quick enough, but that time is not now.

Now is the time to focus on what is right in front of you. It’s the quickest route out of the past and into the future.

What can I do now?

All the best,

John

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When I used to travel 30+ weeks a year, I would have lots of opportunities to meet new people on airplanes. Invariably the question would come up: “What do you do?”

If you want to turn heads on airplanes, either answer the question with “Hit man” or “Hypnotist.”

When people heard the term “Hypnotist” or “Hypnosis,” they would reach into their memory banks for any associations they had with either of those words, and the questions and comments would come non-stop.

“Don’t make me cluck like a chicken,” “Can you help me stop biting my nails?”, “Can anybody be hypnotized?”, “I’d be afraid to let anyone control my mind.”

After I answered their questions to the best of my ability, they would eventually ask: “How does it work?” or “What do you actually do?”

I would say that hypnosis is a form of accelerated learning. When the chatterbox part of your mind calms down, the part of your mind that does the learning is wide open and fertile for suggestions you are open to. Then the process of learning something new happens more quickly. So the job of the hypnotist is to guide you into that quieter frame of mind.

When I explained what I actually did, it would make most people stop and think about how much of their behavior was automatic and predictable. I would say that my job was to get people to first, notice, and then outgrow behavior that ran in the background.

We are almost completely unaware of the patterned behavior that runs us. That’s because it’s invisible and runs in the background. It’s like the software in a computer. A computer is only capable of running the same routines if we use the same software.

The visible part is the behavior, not the routine.

Most of psychology probes the “Why” of the behavior. That’s pretty interesting stuff, but it does very little in actually outgrowing the behavior. Rather than know the why and the wherefore, I find it much quicker to get people to notice the behavior while it’s running.

This method opens the curtain so you can see that the “Great Oz” is just an ordinary routine running in the background. You demystify it and notice it for what it is – a piece of outdated software.

Once you have that recognition, you begin to drop the notion of “I was meant to be this way,” or “I’ll never be able to change.” Those concepts melt and fade away when you notice that they have been running in the background.

If you begin to jump into the area of “It’s someone else’s fault that I am the way that I am,” you have brought your ability to learn new behaviors to a screeching halt. That’s backward focus. It’s not helpful in moving you forward.

Outgrowing behavior begins by noticing it while it’s running, not 15 minutes or a day later. When you notice a piece of undesirable behavior running, your job is to interrupt it. The process of interrupting behavior, while it is running, is the quickest path to learning something new.

With each interruption, you cause a gap in the outdated software. It’s in that gap that new behavior starts to form. The more often you interrupt behavior, while it’s running, the quicker you get to new behavior.

New learning loves a void. That’s why mind quieting is such a powerful, learning tool.

Begin to recognize your behaviors in action and you will bring them out of the background where you can interrupt them at will. By doing so, you will bypass all the justifications you’ve been using for your behaviors, and begin the process of accelerated learning.

All the best,

John

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What if what you’ve been hoping for doesn’t happen? Now what?

My team didn’t make it to the Super Bowl, I wasn’t a millionaire by (fill in the magic age here), people can still tell me what to do, I’m not as pretty as I used to be . . . Now what?

You may have done more than hope; you may even have planned for the thing that didn’t happen – Now what?

“Now what?” is a question that too often goes unasked. Do you plan on doing more hoping? I hope not.

Are you planning on doing more planning? It’s too often a time consuming, exercise in diversion.

What are you diverting yourself from? For most of us, it’s answering the question: “Now what?”

“Now what?” has focusing power that hoping and planning can never achieve.

The answer to “Now what?” delivers a directive – one you can then plan for, and throw in a measure of hope as well.

Reminds me of a story . . .

I had a neighbor in Syracuse who moved his family to Florida to change careers. He opened a restaurant with a partner. He worked really hard at building the business and his new career. He sunk his life savings into that venture. One day he arrived at work and didn’t see his partner there. He called his house to see if everything was all right. The phone had been disconnected. He drove over to this guy’s house and it was vacant. He got a sinking feeling. He went to the bank and their business account had been depleted of all funds. He couldn’t pay his suppliers and he couldn’t procure the supplies necessary to serve his patrons. He was up that well known creek.

The business was closed, the building repossessed, and he found himself with a family to feed, nowhere to live, and a couple of hundred dollars to his name. Now What?

He rented a truck, put all his family possessions in it and drove back north. He showed the money to his teenage son and said, “This is all the money we have in the world.” He took time to ask himself, “Now what?” and came up with a plan to head back home, rely on family for a time, and build a new business. This story has a happy ending. He built several businesses and is doing just fine.

“Now what?” dispenses with hope and puts you on the fast track to action.

If your life is filled with hopes and dreams that are passing you by, I have a question for you: Now what?

All the best,

John

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I have this notion that there are two kinds of lost:

Lost but Searching
and
Lost – Lost

My guess is that most of us belong to the “Lost but Searching” group. We know we’re lost and we’re seeking a solution.

The bigger pickle is to be “Lost-Lost.”

Lost-Lost is a more serious situation because there is no way out if you don’t know you’re in. You’re lost but you don’t believe you are. That’s Lost-Lost.

Ignorance may be bliss but “Lost-Lost” contains none of that. Lost-Lost is kind of like the disgruntled husband who refuses to pull over and ask directions because he believes he can find anything. He doesn’t believe he’s lost. 45 minutes later he still believes, and he’s still lost. It may appear he’s seeking a solution but his refusal to triangulate with others suggests otherwise: Lost-Lost.

If you don’t recognize you need help, you are basically helpless.

Lost-Lost lives behind a strong wall of denial that’s not easily scaled from either side.

Sometimes you can storm the castle with an intervention but that’s rarely successful. It seems the most effective knock of help has to come from the inside.

The only catalyst I know to set the environment for that knock to come is silence.

If someone you care about is Lost-Lost, about the only thing you can do is point them towards silence – a quiet mind. Your logic is lost on them and I’ve never seen logic win a debate against denial.

Seeking internal silence on a regular basis acts as accelerated erosion on even life-long patterns.

Silence works for the “Lost but Searching” and the “Lost-Lost” as well.

Whether you are attempting to help yourself or another, the gift of silence is the most valuable one you can give or receive. There are lots of ways to get to the land of gentle knocks; they all are designed to quiet your mind. Find one that works for you and then offer it up to another.

It just may be the silent direction needed to find the way out of Lost-Lost.

All the best,

John

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There aren’t too many issues where we don’t take sides – sporting events, politics, religion, “Beatles vs. Elvis.” The list goes on and on.

The problem, as I see it, is not passionately lining up on the “For” side of an issue; the thing that doesn’t work well is being against something.

How many things are we at war with and losing? – Drugs, poverty, terror, etc.

Being for something does not necessarily dictate that we’re against its opponent. We’ve just been conditioned that way, and that way is not working.

It may seem like semantics, but if you try it on for size with your feeling sense, you’ll know that “For” has a different energy than “Against.”

“Against” will tense you up while “For” will free your energy to work towards your goal.

How many times have you heard, “How goes the battle?” That suggests that you are battling against something, rather than putting your efforts into being for something.

I think we can all agree that disease is not anything we’re for, but to be against it misdirects our healing energy. It seems the patients that heal quickest are the ones who are for recovery and not against the affliction.

In psychology, there is an approach that has an abysmal failure rate. It’s called “Aversion Therapy.” It puts the accent on the negative. They have you associate negative things to the behavior you want to outgrow. For example, for weight loss, they ask you to make an association that junk food or dessert will taste like garbage. The results are temporary. The objective is to make you against junk food. Most dieting is predicated on the “against” principle – foods you’re not for. You only have to ask yourself one question: “How’s that working for me?”

Against contains conflict. The conflict is: You are for something, while at the same time, being against something. Your focus is scattered and your results get watered down.

“For” has no conflict. Its sole message frees you to move in one direction – Forward.

Hatred is against something. You can’t hate your way to peace. It’s just as accurate to point out that you can’t hate your body and have lasting results with weight loss.

Take a moment and monitor what you’re against. Then make a shift in your angle of approach and see what you can be for instead.

You’ll find it’s no accident that the word “Forward” contains “For.”

All the best,

John

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The Grasshopper had this to say today: “The difference that makes a difference is living the philosophy you preach.”

Reminds me of a story . . .

In 1979, legendary radio commentator, Paul Harvey came to our studios in Kansas City to broadcast his morning, national news show. It was a lesson in efficiency to watch him work.

More so than his workflow, I was impressed with his down–to-earth, roll up your sleeves style, and his let’s go to work attitude. But even more impressive was that he made his own coffee.

Why did that impress me? Because he drank the brand he was a spokesperson for – Kava Coffee.

Kava Coffee was a new brand in the U.S. at that time, so it couldn’t have been his lifelong choice. Remember: This was radio. No one was going to see what coffee he was brewing and drinking at 5 o’clock in the morning. He made it a point to use the products he pitched.

It made a difference. He delivered a totally congruent message when he talked about usage and consumption of the things he advertised.

We all do a bit of preaching we don’t practice, so this is not a sermon – just a suggestion.

If you are looking for your life to take a different track, pick out one small thing that you are preaching and not practicing and do one of two things:

1. Stop preaching it.
2. Start practicing it.

Your message will be heard louder and clearer if you are a disciple of it. Not only that, you’ll open up new routes for yourself to travel that don’t take you down into the same old rut you’ve been telling everyone else how to get out of.

You either have to put away your podium, or stand tall on it and speak from experience; otherwise you will sink more deeply into the land where there is no difference – Mediocrity.

All the best,

John

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