I have this notion that there are two kinds of lost:

Lost but Searching
and
Lost – Lost

My guess is that most of us belong to the “Lost but Searching” group. We know we’re lost and we’re seeking a solution.

The bigger pickle is to be “Lost-Lost.”

Lost-Lost is a more serious situation because there is no way out if you don’t know you’re in. You’re lost but you don’t believe you are. That’s Lost-Lost.

Ignorance may be bliss but “Lost-Lost” contains none of that. Lost-Lost is kind of like the disgruntled husband who refuses to pull over and ask directions because he believes he can find anything. He doesn’t believe he’s lost. 45 minutes later he still believes, and he’s still lost. It may appear he’s seeking a solution but his refusal to triangulate with others suggests otherwise: Lost-Lost.

If you don’t recognize you need help, you are basically helpless.

Lost-Lost lives behind a strong wall of denial that’s not easily scaled from either side.

Sometimes you can storm the castle with an intervention but that’s rarely successful. It seems the most effective knock of help has to come from the inside.

The only catalyst I know to set the environment for that knock to come is silence.

If someone you care about is Lost-Lost, about the only thing you can do is point them towards silence – a quiet mind. Your logic is lost on them and I’ve never seen logic win a debate against denial.

Seeking internal silence on a regular basis acts as accelerated erosion on even life-long patterns.

Silence works for the “Lost but Searching” and the “Lost-Lost” as well.

Whether you are attempting to help yourself or another, the gift of silence is the most valuable one you can give or receive. There are lots of ways to get to the land of gentle knocks; they all are designed to quiet your mind. Find one that works for you and then offer it up to another.

It just may be the silent direction needed to find the way out of Lost-Lost.

All the best,

John

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