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June 25, 2013

Dense

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:30 am

C113861 m How dense are you? It sounds like a pejorative question, but upon closer inspection it is requesting a factual assessment.

One dictionary definition of dense would be “tightly packed.” “How tightly packed are your ideas and beliefs about something?” is a question that’s asking you to reflect and inspect rather than cornering you into a defensive posture.

Tightly packed ideas leave little room for the metaphorical sardine that’s going to make some wiggle room.

When your ideas are dense, there’s no room to learn something new on that topic because your notions are as hard as cement. You then become, to quote Lucy van Pelt, a “Blockhead.”

“That’s how it is” is a tightly packed idea, especially if there is an abundance of information available that suggests it isn’t. But when we are dense on a topic, we lose our ability to use the critical thinking we all possess because it can’t get between the sardines.

There must be a solution to create space in a densely packed area. Surprisingly, It’s not more facts. Reminds me of a story . . .

I had some workmen in my house recently who were listening to a conservative talk show on the radio as they worked. I mentioned that I had done a talk show on the radio during my broadcasting career. They began asking me about different talk show hosts and my opinions on them. Rather than give them my opinion on a specific host, I broadened the discussion about why one brand of talk show is more popular than another.

“The most successful talk shows are conservative talk shows,” I said. Any ratings survey will back up my assertion. I went on to say that progressive or liberal talk shows don’t fare as well because they rely on the facts too much and don’t do what conservative talk show hosts do best – tug at your emotions.

The formula is simple. If you are a liberal talk show host, you line up all the disparate facts and you, like a prosecutor, walk your listeners through a timeline and expect them to come to the conclusion you logically expect. The conservative formula is to take a small corner of large picture and get you to focus only on that. They are like defense attorneys who ignore evidence that doesn’t support their case and focus on the pieces that will affect you emotionally.

My talk show experience had me come to this conclusion: Most people don’t want to work hard at coming to a conclusion. They want it handed to them in a densely packed form with no room for opposing opinions.

So what is the solution to creating more space? Firstly, you have to recognize the density of any belief or idea that you own and then make an assessment if it’s getting in the way of you enjoying life more. If you find that your density is causing you pain (having to be right is a major self-infliction of pain), your job is to observe your mind at work.

What we normally do is join the discussion in our mind and have a back and forth argument – much like the daily fare on a talk show. The key to making more room is to observe the arguments being made as a spectator and not a participant. You then get separation from the ideas because you discover that your ideas are not you. You are the observer, not the idea.

Once you discover that you are not the ideas in your mind but the observer of the ideas, the ideas and beliefs become less dense. The more you observe, the more open you become. The more open you become, the more options you have.

If you want to remain dense and right, keep making arguments for your limitations and you will insure two things:

1. Your pain will stay in place.

2. You won’t learn anything new about you.

Observe your density and increase your propensity for more pleasure.

All the best,

John

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June 19, 2013

Intention

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:48 am

C412327 m “What are your intentions, young man?” is a well worn line from old movies, but our intentions today are as essential to successfully living as they ever were.

The Grasshopper awakened me with this: “Intention: Giving flow somewhere to go.”

Intentions give our creative juices a groove to follow to a specific destination rather than too many canals that lead to petered out and watered down.

When your creative juices are channeled, you have an intention that has a prayer, rather than passively praying that it will come to pass.

How do we channel our intentions?

One secret is to give up the notion that there is no work involved. The set-it-and-forget-it approach makes for great theory but as my late teacher Dr. Dave Dobson said: “Theory is bullshit and defending your theory is bullshit squared.”

Your intention needs a plan of action otherwise it remains a wish.

Additionally, the number of intentions we have on our active list would benefit by being pared down and prioritized.

The hallmark of someone struggling to have their intentions come to pass is a wish list that even makes fairies weary.

If your flow has too many places to go, you have scattered focus and scattered results. You can’t have it all and you can’t do it all, and the longer you hang on to those notions, the longer you delay your intentions.

When I see lack of specific intention, I find a person in love with the idea of being a “Renessaince Man or Woman.” They have fallen in love with a fairy tale and believe that fruition is just another magic apple bite away.

“Today I’ll paint; tomorrow I’ll write; Friday I’ll read more on how to achieve world peace, and the weekend will be dedicated to finding the magic bullet for everything.” Your flow has too many places to go which is why you are going nowhere.

Hang on to your dreams; just don’t turn them into scattered nightmares by leaving them unprioritized and neglecting to dig a groove.

Focus your intentions and watch your fairy godmother’s wings begin to flap. If you are tired of watered down results, give your flow somewhere to go.

All the best,

John

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June 18, 2013

Shortsighted

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:39 am

Superior copy
I’ve come up with an alternate definition for “Shortsighted”: When I can easily see in you that which I don’t see in me.

We’re all shortsighted about something. Just notice what you notice most in others and you will have homed in on your own shortsightedness.

For me, the largest area of shortsightedness is finding flaws in others. I’m world-class at it. Within seconds of meeting someone, I know what their flaw is. I didn’t work at that skill; I just own it. That’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s very helpful when helping someone assess their situation and then assisting them with a strategy forward.

My skill becomes problematic when I act like I don’t have the flaws I easily recognize in others. I have every one of them to one degree or another. It’s when I pretend that I don’t that trouble ensues. It shows up as me being superior, rather than just being the noticer.

When that happens, the person on the other end is less likely to hear my message or see my strategy because I have set up a framework where they can easily feel inferior, and they associate that feeling with me.

Just think about the last doctor that you wanted to smack and you’ll instantly know what superior looks like and what your reaction to it feels like.

When I act like that superior doctor, lawyer or indian chief, I am blind to my own shortsightedness.

Shortsighted and superior both begin with “S.” If you let them go unchecked, you make an “S” of yourself.

It’s OK to notice someone’s shortcoming; but if you dwell on it, it becomes high drama, especially if you claim to be without sin.

I don’t think that I’m going to stop nitpicking others anytime soon, but I am noticing more often that I have “my stuff” too. This noticing has caused me to have regularly scheduled eye exams to keep my shortsightedness in check.

All the best,

John

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June 5, 2013

Unrelative Truth

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:44 am

C483636 m We all speak our truth from time to time – The relative truth.

Relative truth is connected to the truth but it’s not the whole truth. It’s like someone holding on to an elephant’s tail and claiming it’s the whole elephant.

“Unrelative Truth” is the whole truth and it’s rarely spoken. That leaves us with lots of confusion, miscommunication and prevarication.

What is Unrelative Truth? It’s the truth that has no opposite. Most people don’t want their truth confused with the facts. If there is an opposite to what you or someone else is claiming to be true, you only have your truth, not THE truth.

The closest most of us come to “Unrelative Truth” is when we parrot reality. “I am writing this sentence at 6:46 a.m. EDT on Wednesday, June 5, 2013” is reality. If I say, “I am writing a profound sentence at 6:46 a.m. EDT on Wednesday, June 5, 2013,” I only have the relative truth. The minute someone legitimately claims it’s not “profound,” my truth has an opposite and disintegrates.

This is just a reminder to take notice of what you are espousing as the truth. Chances are it has a snowball’s chance in hell to stand up to the heat of opposite.

Please continue to have your opinions because they are the grist that, when tested, get us all closer to the truth. Just don’t claim that your opinion is the truth or you’ll need more tissues for your nose.

Speaking less relative truth will keep your arguments to a minimum and, more importantly, will get you closer to the truth. That last sentence, if you hadn’t noticed, was an opinion. The only way to find out if it’s relatively true for you or not, is to take it for a test drive.

Final opinion: The whole truth, even in court, is rarely spoken.

All the best,

John

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May 31, 2013

Semantics

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:11 am

C507249 m The Grasshopper treated me to a lesson in semantics that wasn’t about semantics.

The next time you are frustrated, angry, upset, or having some other unpleasant sort of moment, make this semantic change: Instead of saying, “I am flummoxed,” say, “My mind is flummoxed.”

Making this slight adjustment immediately locates the part of you that’s going to keep feeding that fire. You cut off the fuel line when you notice that it’s your mind that’s angry, unappreciated, under-loved and over-taxed.

It’s your mind that perpetuates your angst.

There’s nothing wrong with being frustrated etc., but keeping it alive is a choice you get to make. When you say, “I am angry,” you put the option of choice in concrete.

Just noticing that it’s your mind that’s angry, and not you, has you make a distinction that opens a door to relief.

Just think about your last rant. Who was ranting? Was it you or was it your mind? It’s always the thought machine that elongates your uneasiness.

We justify our condition when we say, “I am (fill in the blank).” We begin to rectify our situation when we know it’s our mind that’s keeping it alive.

Noticing and changing the semantics you use is a shortcut to peace of mind.

The mind left unchecked will run amok, and the even worse news is, it’s a long ride.

I’m not offering you a cure-all here, just a bit of semantics to interrupt your train of thought long enough so that you can get off at the next stop.

You’ll take shorter trips to nowhere when you notice and change the semantics you use. If you don’t, you’ll remain The Little Engine That Couldn’t.

All the best,

John

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May 17, 2013

Cockamamies

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 7:02 am

Birdman When I was a kid, there were things inside of bubblegum wrappers that were called cockamamies. They were pictures you could transfer to your body by wetting your skin and pressing and holding the picture for a few seconds and then peeling away the cockamamie. It was an early form of temporary tattoos.

I loved them and affixed them all over my arms. They would fade in a day and easily wash off with soap and water. Which reminds me of a story . . .

Years ago, I was working out next to a younger guy at the gym and noticed his tattoo. I asked him, “What did your mother say when you came home with that?” “She didn’t say anything,” he said, “but my father exclaimed in Italian, ‘Wash it off.'”

I am not yet a fan of permanent tattoos; call me middle-fashioned. Middle because the generation before me was into them and the generation today is as well. My generation, not so much.

I will admit that I am a product of my conditioning regarding tattoos and I will also offer this observation: Getting tattoos doesn’t make you less of a person, but if you think of yourself as less than a person, you are more likely to get a tattoo.

Think of the time frame that most tattoos are gotten – teens to early 20s. This is also the age range that military recruitment and girls wearing excessive makeup is at an all time high, not to mention piercings. Coincidence? Not at all.

When you don’t think a lot of yourself, you make additions. The purpose of the addition is to make you the person who you think you’re not. “The military will make a man out of you” is the enticement of the recruiter. They know you are feeling “less than” and use that as an edge. The same is true for cigarette and makeup manufacturers. They target an age group that’s susceptible.

There is a basketball player for the Miami Heat named Chris Andersen, known as “Birdman.” His picture, above, is from Inked Magazine. He, unintentionally, serves as the “bad boy” role model for young boys who are basketball fans. His personal decoration style will cause some young admirers to emulate his lead. There is nothing that can be done about that nor should there be.

Even though this blogpost reveals my current prejudice about tattooing, it’s more about being cautious as an adult when contemplating additions when you’re feeling “less than.”

The promise is that the addition will make you feel more like you want to feel. The feeling will be temporary; the addition may be permanent.

There is nothing “out there” that will make you “more than.” It’s the feeling on the inside that you seek. When you find it, you’ll want to tattoo it to your soul and never want it to wash away.

All the best,

John

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May 16, 2013

Vantage Points

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 8:32 am

C109106 m An argument can be made that god and reality are one and the same. Both show up everywhere.

God and reality share another thing in common – Vantage points. The Grasshopper shared this yesterday: “God’s vantage point is all vantage points.” Let me give you an example.

Pretend you are on the rooftop of a 15 story building which is situated on the corner of a major intersection. As you look down from the corner position you see a car on each street speeding towards the intersection and you deduce that neither is going to stop. You can see that an accident is about to happen. You have a vantage point that’s not available to either driver. In this limited scenario, you have all vantage points and are godlike. But suddenly, something tells you to throw a trash can off the roof into the path of one of the oncoming cars. This causes the driver to slam on his brakes and, unbeknowns to him, prevents a major collision.

Not only did you have a reality/godlike vantage point but you had free will as well. Free will allows us to intervene. Think of it as god whispering to us and giving us a heads-up as to what we can do. We are the instruments of change. We can change potential reality before it becomes real.

My point isn’t theological; it’s a reminder to all of us to use our free will and move off our point and explore another’s point of view before we condone, condemn, or counteract it. It’s sticking with our one vantage point that allows accidents to happen.

Which animal would you like to be like, a lion, an elephant or a bear? How quickly did you answer? Did you take time to consider all the choices or did you preferentially select one? If you didn’t consider all the options (vantage points), you are not using your free will, but rather your conditioned will.

If you continually act out of conditioning, you are at the mercy of reality. Free will expands your options, but you have to use it to gain additional vantage points.

Free will isn’t free. You have to “pay” attention that you’re about to offer a conditioned reaction and use your free will to choose a different response.

Think of it this way: Using free will turns vantage points into advantage points.

All the best,

John

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May 14, 2013

Clinging to the Surface

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:41 am

C483339 m It seems to me that our default reaction is to cling to what we know even though there is a preponderance of evidence that it’s not working. This has a new name for me – “Clinging to the Surface.”

We get lots of invitations during our life but none more valuable than the invitation to go deeper. We scratch and claw to stay on the surface and the feeling we come away with after ignoring the invitation is empty.

Going deeper isn’t talking about or contemplating “deep” topics; it’s more about digging deeper than your conditioned reactions. When you are involved in an interaction with someone clinging to the surface, you are at a “Pat Answer Party.” It’s a conversation that goes nowhere new. You can predict what the other person is going to say, so nothing new or deeper comes from that encounter.

You spent your time reading a rehearsed script rather than engaging in improv. It’s the reason that most sales people are seen in a less than flattering light. The ones who toss the script away and take the time to respond vs. react to you go deeper with you, and as a result have “deeper pockets,” meaning they make more money.

Just gauge your feelings the next time you get a recorded phone call or one from a telemarketer reading a script. It’s a surface clinging experience with no opportunity to go deeper.

You can attempt to go deeper with everyone you meet. Just toss away your rehearsed reactions and dig deeper for a response that takes you somewhere new. It can be a learning experience for both of you.

Many people won’t accept your invitation. They’ll cling to the surface for dear life, never realizing that they’re going around in circles. You’ll eventually find yourself avoiding these people. The term “shallow” comes to mind.

I occasionally taste and enjoy the empty calories of cotton candy at the fairgrounds, but a steady diet of interacting with a “circus barker” leaves me feeling empty.

We can only offer an invitation. It starts by you coming off of automatic pilot and watching where it goes. The benefit to going deeper is that you learn something new, not only about them, but about you.

All the best,

John

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May 10, 2013

Trash Day

Filed under: John Morgan's Blog — John Morgan @ 6:54 am

C117806 m Today is trash collection day in our neighborhood. It’s the day to get unwanted things curbside.

It occurred to me that we may want to set aside a mental trash day as well. Perhaps it can coincide with the day your physical trash gets picked up.

It’s an easy exercise. Just dedicate the time you are hauling your trash to the pick-up point to also be the time that you empty your mental waste basket.

Take a moment to collect some thoughts that would serve you better if they were hauled away in a big truck. Mentally put them in a container that you will physically take to the curb. See how easy that is to imagine?

Then after pick-up, when you see the empty container, just notice how much lighter you feel. Each time you do this exercise, you get better at it and then rubbish reduction becomes second nature.

You automatically take the garbage that has been mentally piling up and put it out for collection on trash day.

It’s an exercise worth your practice and you don’t have to limit yourself to one pick-up day. Everyday can be trash day if you choose. Every time you find yourself emptying a receptacle, allow your mind to select some accumulated garbage and put it in a container for collection.

There are lots of side benefits besides feeling lighter – one being that your thoughts will be fresher and smell better.

You’ll never look at a garbage truck the same way again after automating this exercise.

Trash day may not become a national holiday but it can be one you celebrate every time you kick some garbage to the curb.

All the best,

John