With apologies to Dusty Springfield fans, The Grasshopper had this to say: “Wishin’ and Hopin’ have the same success rate as Drinkin’ and Dopin’.”

How much of our time is spent on wishes and hopes? There is a point past which we deserve to be called a dope.

No one has done the arithmetic on wishing and hoping, just like National Football League coaches have never done the arithmetic on running the ball on 2nd and 10. The success rate is anemically low for both but that doesn’t stop us from jamming up the flow by employing these tactics.

I believe it’s time to bring our wishes and hopes into the light of day and see how much time we waste on action-less pastimes.

There is no action associated with a wish or a hope which is the main reason neither rarely comes to fruition.

I’m sure “Actin’ and Doin'” wouldn’t have been as big of a hit song but our results would approach the Top 10 if we acted and did again and again.

A hope without action is hopeless. A wish without doing deserves poo-poo-ing.

Only you can decide how you’re going to spend your time but this much is arithmetically provable: The time spent wishin’ and hopin’ in your head determines how full your ass is with lead.

All the best,

John

I remember when I discharged from the U.S. Navy. I was looking for a job in radio broadcasting. I moved back home and was sending out some audition tapes to radio stations.

My mother asked me how the job search was going and I told her not so well. She said, “You have to go out on the road and knock on doors and get in front of people to make your case.”

The next day I started a pilgrimage down the east coast and visited every radio station that would let me in the door. I remember being in Annapolis, MD on St. Patrick’s Day and all the bars along the strip were serving green beer. I visited a radio station there and got some valuable input from the program director. At each station I visited, I got to experience broadcasting being approached from a different angle – something I could never have garnered from just sending out tapes.

That trip did not turn into a job, but it turned into an experience.

My guess is whomever said there was no substitute for experience came from a position of experience. You’ll never think your way to an experience; you have to physically own it to benefit from it.

Doing outdoes thinking every time and it builds experience. Experience makes life a lot easier.

The challenge for us is this: Gain as much experience as we can in multiple areas of our lives. That means to stretch ourselves. This doing will broaden you and give you more confidence than you could ever experience by staying stationary.

Experience is the byproduct of doing. When you choose to be a doer, you build confidence and are able to answer with a resounding “YES” the question singer Jimi Hendrix posed decades ago: Are you experienced?

All the best,

John

For those of you into Haiku, here’s one that came “out of the blue” during a windy night.

Behold the sightless wind

Hear it roar and feel its sting

Yet Tom doubts the gale

Happy Friday

The Grasshopper offered some insight towards success by giving a reverse definition: “Inertia is the handmaiden of failure.”

Failure is most often tied to failure to try.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have been prejudiced to the word “try” by my late teacher Dr. Dave Dobson who claimed that “try” was an excuse word we learned in toilet training. When we sat and went in our pants and were admonished by our parent or caregiver, we found that saying something like “I tried to make it to the bathroom” absolved us from responsibility. We took that excuse word with us into adulthood.

Dave suggested the phrase “make an effort” indicated action that the word “try” lacked. When you say, “I made an effort,” it allows questions about what specific efforts were made. There’s more information available with “make an effort” than there is with “try.”

Inertia keeps us from making efforts or trying. It is an insurance policy to fail. Making an effort paves the road to success. It doesn’t guarantee a smooth road, but a road nevertheless. If you sit at the fork, you’re guaranteed to get “forked.”

I recently watched the PBS special on songwriter/singer Carole King where this incredibly accomplished woman had this to say:

“If you want to do something, go for it, try. Don’t tell yourself you can’t make it. Don’t let your parents tell you you can’t make it. Let the world tell you you can’t make it, after having tried. Or maybe let the world discover you, but don’t fail to try. Because if you don’t try, you can’t succeed.”

I think the purpose of this post is to get us all to start giving attention to inertia so we can metabolize it and discover that making an effort leads to results and it keeps us from making trying excuses.

All the best,

John

I came across an old Grasshopper quote that I feel the urge to re-quote: “YOU lives between the words, not in them.”

We all struggle describing ourselves with labels (words). They never seem adequate, simply because they’re not.

The “you” we attempt to describe is someone we call “me.” That boils down to a collection of our history with countless stories from that timeline to support who we claim to be.

We are not our history or our stories. We are the pause between explanation.

I often think of the old advertising line from Coca-Cola when making this case: “The pause that refreshes.”

It’s refreshing to find out we are not our history or our stories about it. There is freedom in that pause: freedom from being locked in by our labels.

Spring is not far off and that means that spring cleaning can’t be far behind. You may want to get a head start on the change of seasons by beginning the de-labeling process now.

Start peeling off any label that follows the phrase “I am.” “I am a parent, christian, atheist, speaker of truth, lover, homemaker, provider, butcher, baker, candlestick maker or AARP member.”

As the labels start to disappear, you begin to see the space between the labels: the You between the words.

You cannot be described by a label, only limited by one.

So, start letting the labels go and watch the unlabeled You begin to show. It’s quite the discovery.

All the best,

John

The Grasshopper must have been feeling his oats when he left this on my mental doorstep yesterday: “If you define aging by comparison, you’ll feel old.”

I can tell you from experience that I was offended by all the “old” references when I turned 50. The “over-the-hill cards” to the “funny” aging references gave me a peek into the psyche of others and how they viewed aging. It never matched up with my ideas on the topic.

Aging is a process; “getting old” is a mental construct.

We age every day. It seems that “getting old” is a mindset that goes on steroids when we get into using comparison as barometer.

I can’t run as fast as I could when I was 20. That’s a fact. But when you compile all the comparative facts, you paint a picture that is opposite of Dorian Gray. That picture then serves as your dim light of possibility.

Rather than compare, just be where you are. When I’m just here doing whatever I’m doing, I’m not caught up in reflection on how much I’ve aged since then. When you get immersed in what you’re doing, the farthest thing from your mind is that you’re too old to be doing it.

I’m not going to dive off an 80 foot cliff like I did when I was 18, but I’m not going to avoid the diving board at the swimming pool either. I do what I do when I can do it and that is rewarding for me, instead of lamenting that I’m not what I used to be.

If you like Eddie Murphy, you’ll readily admit that he would probably not be as good as a stand-up comic as he used to be, but he’d still be funny. Other older comedians who attempt to recreate their old routines and put them on display appear old. Those that just do what they do now still have a following. Look at Jerry Seinfeld and his internet series “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.” He’s not recreating the Seinfeld Show; he’s just doing what he does now.

You can be trite and say “age is just a number” but it’s more than that; Aging is a mindset – one that’s built on comparison.

When you just do what you do and don’t take the time to compare it to what you used to do, you feel alive in the moment and that never gets old.

All the best,

John

Here is something I wrote 5 years ago that was relevant 500 years ago and will be 500 years from now:

“The Most Prized Real Estate Contains No Land” – Grasshopper

Pure and simple, the most prized treasure is space – the one between your thoughts.

All that we seek, all that we long for is closer than our next thought which most often only tells us what we’re missing.

“If only I had money” is an impoverishing thought.

“If I wasn’t fat” will keep you hungry.

“If I could live my life over again” takes you back over barren fields.

The land of thought is overpopulated and the wise investor will begin investing in space.

The space between your thoughts is the rich land of creation. It’s here that you will find that vast expanse called “peace of mind.”

It’s in this space that all creation happens. It’s not for sale but everyone is entitled to as much as they want. This space is limitless.

Space makes room for new creations, new ideas and unlimited angles of approach. It’s in this space that what you desire takes shape.

Thinking things through is the exact opposite of creating space. You’re a smart person; how many times do you need to go over the same facts to come up with the same roadblocks to peace?

How do you create space? Begin to notice that your thoughts are thinking you. They’re the exact same ones you had yesterday, last week, last month or a zillion years ago.

When you notice your thought machine in action, you create a tiny space. It’s a mini meditation. Repeated often enough, this practice begins to automate itself and you find that you have more peace of mind and are more creative.

Repetitive thinking takes up space and crowds your mind. All you have to do to free up some space is to notice your thoughts. Once you get more adept at noticing, one of the first discoveries you’ll make is that you’ve been engaging in debate with a tape recorder all these years. Guess who won?

One of the great uses of our mind is in assessing and assembling facts. This is not repetitive thinking. It’s using your gift of intellect to arrange something from raw materials. Thinking becomes repetitive when you go over the same stale facts again. That’s when it’s time to get some breathing room.

Just notice that your thoughts are looping around again. When you notice, you find the exit ramp to the real estate of treasured space.

All the best,

John

I ran across something I wrote about 5 years ago and thought it was something I needed to be exposed to again, and I’d like to share it with you.

Before there was the “you” you think you are, there was the pure, unadulterated life force that predates your beliefs. That’s the “You” to come home to.

Life consists of a trip out and a trip back. Some think of that as “life and death.” It’s deeper than that.

This trip is never completed by some; they leave home and never return. That’s because they believe they lived in a house rather than a home.

These lifelong travelers never make the trip home because they believe there is nobody to come home to. Before there was Tom Bodett, there was a light left on for you.

The trip out could easily be called “Desire and Acquire.” That’s how most spend their time during this leg of their journey. What we truly desire is what we once had before we acquired conditioned beliefs that suggest that what we are after is located where the grass is greener.

And the chase begins – Chasing the horizon. Not many have noticed that the horizon is an illusion and, as with all other illusions, the closer you get to it, the further it moves away.

All of our beliefs were acquired. We weren’t born with any of them. We define ourselves by our beliefs never noticing that they are separate and apart from who we are.

As we buy into our beliefs, it becomes more difficult to come home because we have truly forgotten who we were before we became this role we play.

Oftentimes, it takes a life awakening moment to lead us home. Most will need an “upset of the apple cart” situation to notice the light. These “dark nights of the soul” get us to see our beliefs in a new light. We finally notice that we’ve added layer upon layer of conditioning that keeps our light from shining.

The trip home has us shed that conditioning until we reach the light we left so very long ago.

People on the run believe they are empty vessels. Their conditioning is so thick that they can’t feel the substance that fuels their existence. They have built a barrier between who they are and who they think they are. It’s a barrier of beliefs.

Sad to say, but it will take physical death for many to make the trip home. You needn’t wait that long. You can enjoy being home well before death takes you there. All it takes is noticing that you are not your beliefs.

Once you get a glimpse that who you thought you were is acquired baggage, it’s much easier to drop that burden and travel lighter in the direction of home.

You don’t have to give up your desires to come home. In fact, you’re much more likely to acquire them when you are fueled by the light of life rather than the fancy of flight.

When you make home your base of operations, your light is so bright that you can travel in any direction and never lose sight of it again.

Take a moment to notice that who you think you are is someone you made up and dressed up. When you have that realization, you’ll stop “playing house” and find your way home.

All the best,

John

It’s not my intention to start a discussion, only to share an observation: The most potent drug I’ve ever encountered is DENIAL.

Most drug and alcohol abusers are hooked on it, not to mention the rest of us when it comes to something we can’t bring ourselves around to believe about ourself.

We may have heard these accusations and observations from professionals to amateurs on countless occasions but they rarely get past our fortified gates.

What to do? I wish I knew.

It seems facts are ineffective ammunition and emotional pleas seem to fall on ears that can’t hear.

There’s hoping and praying but my experience with both of those methods have delivered anemic results.

I’ve resorted to a method espoused by writer Eckhart Tolle and that is to “create a space” for denial. I take that to mean that you fully accept denial as real and allow it its own space instead of denying its existence.

Creating a space is just making room for something you have closed the door on in the past.

Be willing to include denial as a part of your life and give it room to roam. By creating a space, you no longer sap your energy by denying things and get into the habit of accepting things.

Once you accept denial as part of you, you give it the opportunity to transform itself rather than dig in its heels and always be at the ready to go to war.

“Hooked on Denial” would be a great book title for anyone who would like to do the research and writing. Denial is such a mainstay in our collective cultures and it would be useful if someone brought it out into the light of day for a fuller examination.

In the meantime, creating a space for acceptance of denial seems to be the most productive way to go. Once you let it know there’s room at the inn, denial feels welcome and is less likely to feel like Hester Prynne.

All the best,

John

I have said over the years that I’m not a religious person but that I am a spiritual person. I never knew what I really meant by that until recently.

It’s my experience that the word “Spiritual” conjures up ideas of mysticism in peoples’ minds and many equate spiritual with being “Holy.”

I find spiritual to be a lot more straight forward than those definitions.

To me, being spiritual is simply stepping out of the realm of thought. That means when my thinking calms down, I’m more in touch with my spirit. When we identify with the thoughts in our head about who we are and how things ought to be, we are removed from the realm of spirituality.

There is a calmness associated with stepping out of the realm of thought and this calmness of mind gives us access to options that are absent when incessant thinking is present. Our thinking prevents us from noticing options because we are so laser focused on the limited range of our thinking apparatus.

There are so many ways to calm your mind. It’s just a case of finding a method that works for you: mediation, yoga, present moment awareness, self-hypnosis, tai-chi, chi kung, or just putting your feet up and letting the world go away for a few minutes are just a few methods. All will help you step out of the realm of thought and step into your spirituality.

Think of spirituality as your center for finding options, rather than some mystical place. It’s like a visit to the Home Depot to see all the different ways you can redecorate your bathroom – options you wouldn’t see if you didn’t visit.

Find a way to step out of your thinking on a regular basis. It will present you with options you would never find otherwise. Stepping out of your thinking is a very practical and spiritual thing to do.

All the best,

John