It’s not my intention to start a discussion, only to share an observation: The most potent drug I’ve ever encountered is DENIAL.

Most drug and alcohol abusers are hooked on it, not to mention the rest of us when it comes to something we can’t bring ourselves around to believe about ourself.

We may have heard these accusations and observations from professionals to amateurs on countless occasions but they rarely get past our fortified gates.

What to do? I wish I knew.

It seems facts are ineffective ammunition and emotional pleas seem to fall on ears that can’t hear.

There’s hoping and praying but my experience with both of those methods have delivered anemic results.

I’ve resorted to a method espoused by writer Eckhart Tolle and that is to “create a space” for denial. I take that to mean that you fully accept denial as real and allow it its own space instead of denying its existence.

Creating a space is just making room for something you have closed the door on in the past.

Be willing to include denial as a part of your life and give it room to roam. By creating a space, you no longer sap your energy by denying things and get into the habit of accepting things.

Once you accept denial as part of you, you give it the opportunity to transform itself rather than dig in its heels and always be at the ready to go to war.

“Hooked on Denial” would be a great book title for anyone who would like to do the research and writing. Denial is such a mainstay in our collective cultures and it would be useful if someone brought it out into the light of day for a fuller examination.

In the meantime, creating a space for acceptance of denial seems to be the most productive way to go. Once you let it know there’s room at the inn, denial feels welcome and is less likely to feel like Hester Prynne.

All the best,

John