Many people come to a choice point in life: whether to survive or thrive.

Surviving a crisis is one thing, but surviving as a way of life is soul sucking.

Thriving is a 2-step process:

1. Start

2. Continue

Starting is often easy. Think about how many diets you have started or projects that remain undone. The most important step is next: continuing.

Nothing starts without the first step, but it’s the second step that’s crucial to your success.

Inertia is the enemy of “second steppers.” Nike would probably insert “Just Do It” here, but it takes more than willpower. It takes passion.

As The Grasshopper reminded us moons ago, “You can’t be a rock star with part-time passion.”

Quiz yourself about what you’re passionate about. You may come up with a short or long list, but if there is nothing on your list, you are destined to remain a survivor.

Step in the direction of passion and discover that continuing is easier than ever before.

Survive or Thrive? It’s passion that gives your second step drive.

All the best,

John

I believe we all have multiple personalities, but not in the way you may imagine.

We have parts of us that serve us well and parts that get in our way.

For example, when I am faced with a mechanical issue (mechanics not being my strong suit) and I miraculously come up with a solution, I say, “Thanks, Jack.”

Jack was my father’s name. He built everything from kitchen cabinets to skyscrapers, but none of that rubbed off on me. I call my mechanical solution solver “Jack.”

We have parts of us that are held in place by beliefs we got before we knew what beliefs were. I call that part of me “Outdated.” When I notice that I’m ignoring the facts and sticking with my biased belief, I have an opportunity to update it. I say, “Thanks, Outdated.”

When I make someone laugh, I say, “Thanks, Mom.” She was a very funny person.

When someone attempts to hook me by making a suggestion that’s not in my best interest, I say, “Thanks Dave.” Dave was my hypnosis teacher and he called the practice of making manipulative and counterproductive suggestions “Bad Hypnosis.”

I could go on and list more personalities than Sybil but that’s not the point.

The message is to recognize that you have parts of you that deliver solutions. The way to encourage those parts of you to keep delivering comes down to two words: “Thank you.”

Remember to thank the part of you that sent you a gift. It’s more than using your social graces; It’s an insurance policy that the gifts will keep on coming.

All the best,

John

The following Grasshopper thought popped in the other day: “Masterminds master their mind.”

Please don’t read “master” as “control.”

“Master” should be read as “mastery.” Mastery is not perfection; it’s more like excellence.

An excellent way to “master” your mind is to observe your mind at work. Just become a bystander to your thought process and watch the Broadway show your mind puts on.

To become more of a mastermind, you have to have less attachment to your thoughts. When you attach to your thoughts, you wind up fighting with your mind. You have never won an argument with your mind.

Observing the mind rather than fighting with it is the key to mastery.

Catching yourself thinking (observing) is a discipline that pays dividends.

When you observe, you interrupt your thoughts. When you interrupt your thoughts, you create a space in your thinking. In that space mastery begins to bloom.

Want to be a mastermind? Master the magic of observation and experience peace of mind.

All the best,

John

The Grasshopper hit me with an idea the other day: “There’s opportunity in unity.”

It felt a little bit like a quote that’s been around since 1624: “No man is an island,” but different.

Unity suggests camaraderie to me. I guess that’s why they call collections of military personnel “units.”

I also have to mention the Three Musketeers’ motto – “All for one and one for all.”

Going it alone is a tough road whether professionally or personally, and it, too often, keeps opportunity on the horizon rather than in your grasp.

Bringing other people into your circle to consult and cavort with presents more options and more opportunities.

If you’re stuck in place, reach out to another face. It’s an exercise in unity that leads to opportunity.

All the best,

John

What makes me happy? This is the question that popped into my mind early this morning. I came up with countless answers, of which I will only list a few . . .

• I’m happy when I see a dog hanging its head outside a car window.

• It makes me happy to see a happy ending movie.

• It makes me happy when I make someone laugh.

But this is not just about me; it’s about you too.

“Happy” is a matter of focus. It seems that most of our focus is on troublesome thoughts . . . until we notice.

Learn to catch yourself thinking. Troublesome thoughts will always be a part of our life. But if we keep non-stop focus on them, we miss many happy thoughts.

No one is totally happy. Anyone who claims they are has a truckload of snake oil.

Develop the habit of noticing (observing) your thinking. Just by noticing, we create a space between our thoughts. In that space, take a moment to think about what makes you happy. It’s a pleasant respite from doom and gloom.

Did you ever notice that happy thoughts deliver warm bodily feelings? Warm always melts ice. Take a moment to purposely feel nice.

All the best,

John

I have a theory about angry men, not men who get angry, but those in a perpetual state of pique.

To me, it comes down to one word: Emasculation.

Angry men feel weakened and the only way to chase away that feeling, if only for a time, is to get angry.

Emasculation is depriving a man of his identity or role. No one can actually take it from you, but that doesn’t keep some men from being angry over the perceived theft.

Yes, some men may have modeled angry behavior from a parent or care giver but the thing that keeps feeding the fire is “not feeling like a man.”

Just look at your male friends on Facebook who issue ongoing diatribes about the way it should be. You can feel the anger. They’re feeling emasculated – unable to do anything but rant.

Part of the male persona is due to conditioning. “Big boys don’t cry” comes to mind. Military recruitment taps into this emasculated mindset to populate its ranks. “Be a man my son” is a directive without direction. So with no clear path to manhood, many men feel inept, which generates anger.

I don’t have a solution just the observation. It’s my experience that observing one’s anger, while it’s happening, is a step towards relieving the hostile feelings. Noticing that you have anger within you will get you to metabolize those feelings much quicker than justifying your anger with a rant.

I guess I could reduce this to a bumper sticker: Real Men don’t Rant, but that would only point out the problem rather than solve it.

My recommendation is to notice your state of mind more often. Just the act of noticing interrupts the behavior and in that space between your angry thoughts can come a solution. Let’s call it “Emasculation Emancipation.”

All the best,

John

If an ancient civilization saw an airplane take off and fly, they would think it was magic. We know it’s mechanics and science.

Then we see a master magician do incredible feats, but we know there is some sort of trickery going on. So it’s more magical than it is magic.

So the question is: Is there real magic? – something past hoodoo and voodoo.

I continue to be amazed about the magic of beliefs – the ability to create something unbelievable from concentrated thoughts and feelings.

Think of a beautiful piece of music that once wasn’t even notes on paper. Someone believed they could create something that no one had done before. How about a story writer or a scientist? What led them to their creations and discoveries? It began with an idea and belief.

So the next question is: Do you have beliefs that aren’t working for you? Or better stated, they are working but not to your benefit.

Those beliefs are worth examining and worth outgrowing. That practice makes room for new beliefs – ones that can help us create our own brand of magic.

Your belief that you “can’t” is your biggest impediment to getting to “can.”

I readily agree that believing you’ll be the best ballet dancer that ever lived and you begin your training at age 70 is, to quote Betty Crocker’s husband, “pie in the sky.” That doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy a level of personal greatness in ballet. You can. Magic starts with a belief.

One of the best workarounds to “can’t” is to pretend you can. The magic of pretending opens up avenues of belief that were being held back by the paralyzation of two words: “I can’t.”

Pretending you can is the real magic of believing.

When someone tells me they can’t, I often respond with, “pretend you can.” It’s a magical phrase that opens up possibilities – ones hidden by can’t.

The land of make believe is not hocus-pocus. It’s the proving ground for real magic.

All the best,

John

It’s my sense that some of the most stuck people on earth are stuck in a “hate hole.”

Just look at your friends on Facebook. Is there any doubt about the ones steeped in hate? Also notice that they’re stuck in life, often financially.

Also notice that they blame their stuckness on someone else. If you want to bond or influence these folks, give them someone or something to blame for their station in life and you’ll have a friend for life, albeit a hateful one.

I don’t know a foolproof way to extricate yourself from this abyss, just the following suspicion.

Open yourself to the possibility that there’s something more redeeming than hate. You don’t have to own this position, just explore it. You can always go back to hating if you choose.

Looking at life from another angle is the mindset that needs to be adopted to begin the process of climbing out of this hellhole. It gives you an appreciation that there are other ways to go.

If you can just get a glimpse of your culpability in keeping hate in place, you have a leg up on all the other haters. Sadly, most people won’t adopt a new perspective and stay in their hole. You don’t have to. If you’re tired of looking up from the bottom, stop digging.

Just entertain the notion that giving up hate is a magic potion – one that sets your ascent in motion.

All the best,

John

The noun “liar” describes someone who tells lies. But it’s also a label, one that has extreme emotion attached to it.

Notice that people most often argue about labels. “He’s a cotton headed ninny muggins” comes to mind. The attached emotion to a label keeps the facts out in the field and agreement without yield.

Calling someone on a lie vs. labeling them a liar is the difference that will make a difference.

Pejorative labels always lead to escalation. If all you want to do is pummel another, keep labeling them. But if you want a resolution, start peeling back your labels.

Pinocchio was a puppet who lied. If people continued to label him a liar, there would be no metamorphosis towards a happy ending. And that’s no lie!

All the best,

John

Wondering if someone has your back? Here’s one signpost that they do: Making time when they don’t have time.

Have you ever dropped everything to listen to another’s concerns even though you were knee-deep in something that was important to you? That’s making time.

Sometimes it’s just not possible to make time. If you’re a veterinarian in the middle of surgery on a wharf rat, it’s understandable.

But if all your activities take on the air of importance – too important to be interrupted – you tacitly communicate the lack of importance that person has to you.

Here’s a telltale sign of a person who can’t make time. You begin to communicate something deeply concerning to you and the other person launches into a personal experience they’ve had that’s much worse than yours.

Making time is a major indicator that someone values you. One caution: Don’t overuse the open door policy of another. If you do, all your problems take on the same hue – unimportant, not worthy of making time for.

If you demand abundant access to another’s ears – friends, Romans and countrymen, plus Mickey Mouse will not invite you to join them for a beer.

All the best,

John