Who hasn’t felt sorry for themselves? I doubt anyone can make that claim. Yet, we’re told that it’s not good for us to feel bad. That advice goes against reality and only works on a bumper sticker.

When I’m, quote, “feeling blue,” I opine to myself that “Nobody loves me.” I’m sure you have your own description when you’re having your version of “Poor me.”

So, what’s the key to holding a successful pity party?

The answer is simple: Leave early!

That means to invite your pitiful feelings to have their say and feel their pain. By doing so you let them express themselves, and after they do, they’ll be on their way.

Here’s the key. Welcome your sad feeling to your party. Experience them fully. Allow yourself to feel those unsettling sensations in your body. Locate where they physically register in your body and give them their proper due. That means to let them have their way with you. Just by sitting with the feelings and sensing them without comment, you give them your Ok to let them stay.

That may sound counterintuitive to having them leave early, but the reality is this: they will dissipate quicker when you don’t argue with them and bicker.

When you engage in debate with a feeling, you always lose. It’s like thinking you can stay standing when facing a monstrous ocean wave. It’ll take you under every time.

Want to have more successful pity parties that will be a hit? Feel your feelings fully, then watch them make a quick exit.

All the best,

John

Hear the recorded version below.