“But” is one of the most camouflaging words in the English language.

We often attempt to hide what we mean when we utter “but.”

Notable examples:

“You’re doing a great job . . . but”

“ I love your proposal . . . but”

Or any politician . . . “I’m all for your bill on mom and apple pie . . . but”

Here’s a novel idea: Have the guts to say what you mean or remain silent.

We’ve all heard the observation that what comes after the word “but” is what you really mean, so get off your butt and say it, or forever hold your tongue.

BUT . . . There is a novel approach on how to deftly avoid using the word “but.” About a dozen years ago I wrote a blog post called “Convince Yourself.” You can find a link in the notes if you’d like to read it. It addresses a way around using the word “but.” I refer to this technique as the ultimate listening skill. It was a lesson I learned almost 40 years ago and it’s still the best way I know to get off your “but” and stop hiding what you really mean.

Bottom line: If your mission is to pummel someone, keep butting them. And if you’d rather get through with your point of view without bloodshed, I highly recommend you to get off your “but.”

All the best,

John

Hear the recorded version below.