What used to be a parlor game is now a question you ask to have someone make tough choices by exercising their brain. That question starts with these words: “Would your rather . . . ?”

The practice can be for fun or it can be used as a reflective tool to see how serious you are in solving your problem.

So here’s my question: “Would you rather have a shoulder to cry on OR some actionable advice you can rely on?”

It’s my experience that most folks choose shoulder, and, by doing so, have their problem stick around for countless bouts of tears.

I recently had a friend reach out to me with a dilemma they were dealing with. I wasn’t the only person they sought out. Many before me had offered them a shoulder equipped with a crying towel. It was obvious that strategy wasn’t working.

I should point out that I’m not the person you call to simply vent. I’m more of the person you call for a hands-on strategy to get you out of cement.

Turns out this person wanted another person to regale with their lament rather than a time tested plan to solve their ailment.

She’s not alone. That’s why the Oprah Show was so popular. It was a daily cry fest about the wrongs being done to the throngs. It was incredibly successful in the ratings and a financial windfall for the host and her sponsors, but the shoulder seekers stayed broke.

Here’s some solid advice: telling your tale of woe forever and a day will continue your dismay. There comes a point where it’s in your best interest to say, “Here’s the action I’m going to take today,” and leave your ineffective sob story on the shoulder pads of yesterday.

All the best,

John

Hear the recorded version below.