Did you ever hear the expression, “They have a love/hate relationship”? I take that to mean that sometimes they love each other and sometimes they hate each other. On the surface, it would appear that Love & Hate are opposites. My guess is they are more closely related than that.

Jerry Stocking defines love as inclusion. I haven’t heard Jerry’s definition for hate, but my sense is it’s a subset of inclusion and not an opposite.

To hate someone, we have to consider them enough to include them. If they are on our radar screen, they have our attention. If they weren’t, it wouldn’t be hate, but exclusion.

When we hate, we include only the downside for consideration. When we do that, we are miles away from the other end of the continuum where the real opposites live.

When we selectively include or hate, what we are really advertising is that we are closer to love than we are to indifference or exclusion.

Question: Do you really hate that they can’t be different than they are right now?

That is a mind made distinction that is opposed to your body’s natural inclination to include. Look at toddlers play. There is no exclusion or cliques formed. It’s all inclusion until there’s a minor skirmish, some mild hatred if you will. After it’s settled, they go right back to including without grudges. It’s a natural push pull that settles itself.

When we add the mental baggage, the rift takes on a life of its own and becomes more about the issue and less about the participants. This thought process goes against our natural inclination to include and has us focus on differences rather than inclusion. This mental focus is hate.

Hate isn’t great but it is alive and well in most of us. We’ve been conditioned to find the differences and dig in our heels when we encounter them.

No one likes living in Limbo but many spend much of their life there. Their stay is lengthened anytime they pay more attention to differences than commonality. They are mentally preoccupied with the notion of wrong that they miss seeing what’s right. They are only a few steps from inclusion, but their thoughts keep their legs bound. It’s like The Grasshopper asked many moons ago:

“How much would you bet on a grasshopper race if their legs were bound by the limitations of your thoughts?”

You may find a person’s actions detestable but what you really hate is not them, but your inability to include them. This mental struggle keeps the differences alive and keeps you hating. Your mind is at war with what your spirit wants – inclusion. The mind will never give up on its own, and your spirit will not go away. Sticky wicket.

Here’s a suggested strategy: Recognize that love and hate are not that far apart and share a lot of common ground. Next, begin to catch your thoughts about hate when they arise. Just notice them and notice how they focus on difference. When you get in the practice of noticing these thoughts about difference, they come around less often and make room for commonality.

The strategy of hating hate isn’t working and exclusion just ignores the problem. The process of noticing hate, when it’s happening, puts you on the threshold of love.

“There’s a thin line between love and hate” is an old expression which contains a lot of wisdom. The thin line is the difference we choose to hold on to. When it disappears, there is only inclusion.

All the best,

John

http://JohnMorganHypnosis.com

http://GrasshopperNotes.com

http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan

http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301

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