The Grasshopper offered this piece of adhesive input the other day: “You can’t help anyone stuck to their story.”

Your story, my story, is a history lesson of how you got to where you are. It’s not a roadmap that will take you in a new direction. In fact, it only goes in one direction: backwards!

I feel sorry for therapists. They listen to peoples’ stories every day. It’s the same story the client has told to countless people, countless times. The hope is that telling it again will provide relief and a direction forward if only they can find the right person to tell it to.

Sorry to dash your hopes but your story doesn’t provide answers, only justifications for keeping you stuck. Your therapist, friend, clergy member, bartender only needs to hear your story once. This shows them where you’re stuck. It’s now their challenge to get you to recognize that telling that tale again is a waste of both of your times. Then it’s time to work on a plan to get you moving in the direction you need to go: forward!

It’s my experience that people are obsessed with telling you how they got to where they are. Their story is populated with other people who are the cause of their current location. That may well be true, but continuing to tell your tale acts as glue, keeping you stuck to your story.

Continually focusing on how you got here delays moving forward. Consider this. Pretend that you arrived at a desolate destination by car. The car is now gone. How is prattling on about how you arrived helpful in getting you out of there? It’s not, and never will be.

It’s time to notice where you currently are, set a goal to where you want to go, and then start building a bridge from here to there.

The story you do want to tell is how you got back on your feet. You can only tell that one by removing the glue from your shoe.

People are tired of hearing your story, even those close to you. If it was helpful in moving you forward, I would encourage you to go on an international speaking tour and tell the whole world. But it’s not. It’s a governor on your progress.

The more time you spend telling your account of why and how, the less time you spend in the only time you can craft your future: Now!

All the best,

John