Fate, destiny, karma, are just a few words we use to describe Kismet.

They seem to connote some sort of predestination. That means it was always going to turn out this way no matter what you did.

Just like when Napoleon faced his Waterloo, some say, “He met his Kismet.”

I believe many outcomes can be predicted by one’s behavior. What I don’t believe is that they were predestined when we were but a twinkle in our father’s eye.

I’ve met Kismet on too many occasions to remember, but my definition of the word is different. I met reality.

It seems when we don’t like the reality that appears in our life, we, too often, negate any responsibility for it by assigning it to “God’s will” or some other synonym that shifts the blame.

When we divorce ourselves from our realities, we just set them up to happen again.

If you’ve ever said, “Why does this always happen to me?” you’re in denial about the part you played. Think of the person who attracts the same kind of people into their life. It’s not Kismet that they hook up with another narcissist, drunk, philanderer, or abusive person. It’s a reality they had a hand in.

Do some introspection and answer the question: “What is it in my behavior that’s attracting the same kind of people into my life? What you’ll discover is, that it wasn’t written in the stars, but inscribed on a sign that you wear around your neck. It reads, “Kick me.”

This discovery begins when you start taking some responsibility for what happens in your life. If you keep assigning it to “out there somewhere,” prepare to enter the revolving door of Kismet.

Two of my favorite philosophies are:

1. If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.

2. Teach people how to treat you from the start.

Want to change your lot? Do the things many others will not: Look for and adjust your part in this play and you won’t fall victim to a predetermined plot.

All the best,

John