Layers
Yesterday was the annual hanging of the outside Christmas lights. I said to my son, Andrew (Sparky Jr.), “you had to pick the coldest day of the year to want to do this.” It was freezing and the wind was blowing and mucous was flowing. We have a 30 foot spruce tree that requires assistance to reach the top. We drove his 4 wheel drive vehicle up on the lawn and put a step ladder on the roof of the car. My job was to hold him and the ladder in place while he affixed the lights to a painter’s extension pole to try and lasso the top branch. It was high comedy for anyone watching this annual tradition unfold.
We managed to laugh at our stone age methods and eventually the tree was covered in lights. The good news is I remembered to dress in layers. This was to protect me from the elements. It got me to thinking about the layers we add to protect ourselves from others.
Some people have thick skins. That’s a layer. They weren’t born that way; it came from conditioning. Possibly they grew up in a very large family where no one was allowed to get too full of themselves and other family members kept them in check with critical remarks. They may have built up immunity to criticism due to this environment – thus the thick skin. Take the same family and focus on another member. This one, exposed to the same environment, develops a giant aversion to being criticized. Both have a layer of insulation.
Every human being has developed his or her own set of layers. Most often they isolate us from others. When we have these layers between us and others, rarely do we have a deep human interaction. All activity happens on the outer layer keeping our communications superficial. We hardly ever get closer because of the built up barriers.
There is a prescription, but for most it will be a bitter pill to swallow and it will remain in the medicine cabinet.
The answer is to show your underbelly. Take off your layers and let people have a peek at the real you. Remove your layers for a day and see how deep you can go with another. Drop all of your conditioned protection and experience a depth you may have never plumbed before.
It can be as simple as being honest with someone. Drop your story, drop your lies, and tell the truth. As it says in the Bible,
You can be free of your unnecessary layers. It takes some bravery and the results last a lifetime.
You don’t have to undress in one sitting. Remove one layer at a time until you have a comfort level with the process. Soon your authenticity will be exposed for all to witness and the depth of your connections will be unfathomable.
All the best,
John
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