It’s been my experience that the hardest people to help are the ones who argue for their limitations. They’re like the drowning man who doesn’t like the color of the life preserver.

Also note that the words “limitations” and “justifications” rhyme.

When we attempt to justify our behavior, we limit ourselves in the process.

Have you ever heard or said this dodge: “If you had the kind of day I’ve had, you would (fill in the limiting behavior) too”?

That’s the kind of logic that cements you in place. You could have the best coach, teacher, therapist. or clergy member offering you their expert assistance and you would still fail because your justifications will keep you in jail.

If you are justifying your limitations, the help you need is self-awareness. Stop looking outside your skin for a scapegoat. Your resident behavior is the obstacle in your path, not someone or something on the outside whom you cite as the cause of your wrath.

The telltale word that keeps you locked in to your limitations is “because.”

“I’m this way because . . . ”

“The reason I’m so (blank) is because . . . ”

When you eliminate “because,” you zero in on the cause – arguing for your limitations.

You’ll be easier to help when you recognize that “justify” and “deny” also rhyme.

Help starts at home. Take steps to recognize you are the cause and throw away the limitation known as “because.”

All the best,

John