When your football team is expected to win and they don’t, that’s an upset. But how many other things do we get upset about before they even happen?

The Grasshopper weighed in this morning with this: “There are enough reasons to get upset without looking for them.”

In case you haven’t noticed, there are a lot of people you encounter who show up upset. They were upset before you even arrived.

I don’t know about you but I’ve played out a number of conversations in my head before I actually had them. That’s a great strategy if you’re an actor studying your role, but it gets in the way of real time communication.

“Let me tell you how upset I’m going to be if (person x) did (thing y).” That’s being upset in advance and it doesn’t do much to advance any conversation once you meet up with (person x).

Here’s a suggestion: Save your upsets for when there’s an actual thing to get upset about. Life is upsetting enough without artificially adding to the mix.

If you plan to consult the Farmers’ Almanac about the weather for your wedding day that’s 3 months away, plan on being upset from now ’til then if it predicts rain.

Being upset about imagined futures takes you away from enjoying the moments you’re in. Those are wasted moments if you plan on being upset.

Comedian Martin Mull who used to room with Steve Martin before either of them enjoyed celebrated success told this story: Steve would write jokes in their apartment and throw the ones in the trash he didn’t think would work. Mull, knowing that Steve was really funny, went through the trash when Steve left the apartment. Here’s one of the discarded jokes he found: “We sure have had a great time tonight. Too bad we’re all going to die someday.”

Begin to notice your own pattern of being upset in advance and let your noticing serve as a wedge between what’s real and what’s imagined. It will help you sail on a sea of tranquility while the weather is nice.

All the best,

John