Dear Ho, Ho!

This year I’m going for the brass ring and asking for what I really do want.

Will you bring me the will to turn off political, TV talk shows? They’re like car wrecks to me, I just have to stop and gawk.

Speaking of political, TV talk shows, please bring the hosts a dictionary so they can learn how to pronounce “forward.” How educated broadcasters can say “foe-ward” years on end is worse than stocking coal.

Santa, I have been good this year and was wondering if you could bring me something that helps me turn off my bullshit detector. When I watch the aforementioned shows, it goes off constantly when they have on an elected official as their guest. It’s quite bothersome.

And finally Santa, perhaps you can eradicate what I saw in my crossword puzzle this morning: redundant phrases like: “VIN Number” and “ATM Machine” and, of course, George Carlin’s favorite oddities: “Jumbo Shrimp” and “Plastic Glass.”

I’ve purposely left my list shorter this year to lighten the load on you and the reindeer.

Hope you and Mrs. Claus (nee Mary Christmas) have a great vacation in the Bahamas after the holidays.

Love & Hugs,

LJ (Little Johnny)