Our language is filled with comparatives and superlatives like “Better” and “Best.”

These words are so ingrained that we’re probably never going to stop using them. That means that we’ll set ourselves up for arguments until the end of time.

When we state something is better or best, we believe we are stating a fact when, in fact, it’s only an opinion. Invariably, someone else will have a better “fact” and some level of sparks will fly.

As a person who could die a happy death without ever seeing another hockey game, I personally have no argument that Wayne Gretzky is the best hockey player who ever lived, but someone will. “What about Lemieux, Orr, Howe or Lafleur?”

Better or Best start up a perpetual motion machine that’s constantly fueled by arguments and counterarguments. The same is true for the negative superlative “Worst.”

“The worst movies I’ve ever seen star Steven Seagal, except ‘Above the Law.'” I risk getting pummeled by his legion of fans with that statement.

One way to save yourself a beating (verbal or otherwise) and indicate it’s your opinion vs. a fact, is to use some form of the magic phrase “To Me.”

“To me, the best show on TV is ‘How I Met Your Great Aunt Sally.'” People will still disagree with you but it’s less likely to escalate when you label something as an opinion vs. a fact.

“To my way of thinking, there’s nothing better than ‘Dancing with the B-listers'” is more likely to lead to an exchange of opinions rather than a rhubarb.

Try it out for yourself. See how often you use comparatives and superlatives and then just add “To Me” to the mix. I would tell you it’s the best way to communicate but I know better.

All the best to you,

John