Woke up with this Grasshopper tidbit: “‘I’m right’ is an invitation to fight.”

When we display the attitude or position of being right, we invariably make the person(s) on the other end wrong.

Wrong is an experience that none of us wants for ourselves. It’s too painful.

But when we attempt to assign wrong to someone else, they don’t want it either and war breaks out.

A long time ago I was introduced to substitute words for right and wrong. They are “accurate and inaccurate.”

Try these assertions on for size and assess for yourself if one feels better or worse.

“You are wrong.”

“Your information is inaccurate.”

My guess is one lands more softly than the other and promotes further conversation, where the other one draws a line in the sand.

Reminds me of a phone call I was on yesterday . . . I was going over a bill I received and I was clearly overcharged. I was “right.” I could have easily come from the position of right but I knew from experience it had the high potential to set up a fight.

I took another angle instead. I asked the person who sent the bill to “help me figure it out.” I told him I was confused about the charges and needed some clarification. As we talked over the items in the bill, it became clear to him that I was overcharged.

It was a quick and pleasant conversation without either of us having to claim the higher, superior ground and the issue was solved.

Begin to notice how the words and mindset of “right and wrong” are alarms that send you and others to your battle stations.

I won’t claim to be right about this – just accurate. Take this new idea out for a spin and discover for yourself that you don’t always have to go to war to win.

All the best,

John