The Grasshopper offered this tidbit on endings: “When you’re going nowhere together, it may be time to part.”

This piece of relationship insight has too many applications to list but following are just a few that come to mind.

The biggest breakup in most of our lifetimes was that of the Beatles. One could argue that they had much further to go together but, in hindsight, there was too little togetherness to make that happen.

The mean number of years for an American marriage is eight. If you’re one of the people who has experienced divorce, you can now clearly see that at some point you were going nowhere together.

The law firm that handled your divorce may have since broken up as well. Perhaps the law partners also had a parting of the ways.

Partings, for the most part, are acrimonious. My guess is that’s because the partners are not on the same rung of the togetherness ladder. One or more of them doesn’t recognize the location blunders that are tearing them asunder.

From my vantage point, lack of communication is the main culprit. What was once freely exchanged is now hoarded in secrecy. No longer are the dreams, desires or common goals discussed, just pushed aside as we get on executing our list of “musts.”

It takes some recognition to notice that you’re moving in a different direction than your partner(s). It’s at this point of recognition that you can explore the option of whether to move in a direction together. That means bringing your collective maps of the future out from under the covers and looking at them in the light of day, together.

It’s transparently obvious that the lack of communication is the main cause of going nowhere together.

Look no further than the Congress of the United States for examples of people talking past, rather than to, each other. There are no common goals being reached because no one is communicating.

The answer to Rodney King‘s question of “Can we all get along?” is most likely “No.” That doesn’t mean that we can’t explore togetherness. Only then will we know for sure if we can go somewhere together.

All the best,

John