What is the story of your life? It’s like a Jacqueline Susann novel: You made it up!

We didn’t make up the facts of our story, only how we present them.

It’s the telling of our story that has us go into the imaginative world of illusion. And it’s there that we get trapped by our own narrative.

We are held captive by our stories but we continue to tell them in hopes that one more iteration will be our salvation.

The great author Byron Katie asks us this question: “Who are you without your story?”

We would be well served to answer Katie’s question for ourselves and discover the life beneath our life story.

A telltale sign you are trapped by your story is when you say something like: “I’m this way because . . . ”

“Because” is a story telling word that has you make up zillions of reasons why things are the way they are. Rather than get sidetracked by the why and wherefore, just notice how things are without assigning a cause. This Joe Friday “just the facts” approach keeps our focus on “what is” rather than taking us into the made up world of what isn’t.

Every time you tell your problematic story, you go in the opposite direction of a solution.

How powerful is our make believe story? Powerful enough to hold you in place for an entire lifetime, unless you notice.

I have this notion that goes against the Hollywood version of deathbed confessions. My sense is people who are highly invested in their stories don’t know they made them up and take them to their grave. They die not noticing they’ve been handcuffed to an illusion.

Perhaps, while we’re still here, it’s time for us to start noticing that we aren’t our stories. The life we discover without our story is a lot more peaceful and a lot more open to seeing opportunities that story telling prevents us from noticing.

Dropping your story is like dropping a 50 pound backpack that you’ve been carrying around your whole, story telling life. The lightness alone is reason enough to retire your illusion.

If you’re hellbent on telling your story again and again, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of unnecessary pain.

This holiday season, rather than adding another chapter to your life story, give yourself the gift of life by giving up what you’ve made up.

All the best,

John