Lose The Logic
Billy Joel has a song called “Leave A Tender Moment Alone,” and there is an axiom in golf to leave your driver in the garage. There is logical reasoning in both recommendations, but it is never the logic that makes or breaks the moment.
Let’s examine the advice of both positions.
A tender moment is often dissected. When you do that, it’s no longer a tender moment but a compilation of ingredients. The logical attempt is to be able to recreate the moment as easily as you can bake brownies from a recipe. It’s the difference from being able to capture a lightning bug or lightning in a jar.
Every golfer has hit a memorable drive off the tee. It was an especially sensational swing. They don’t know how they did it, but they mentally begin to break it down into pieces. The difficulty is that they logically think about their next drive which often causes it to be less than stellar. Many golfers, especially men, when they tee off, select the largest, most powerful club in the bag – the driver. They usually over swing instead of letting the club do its work and the ball often goes way off line into the deep grass, the woods or water. The errant logic, for some, after this shot goes astray is to not use the driver. Thus the expression, “I should have left my driver in the garage.”
The logic leaves you diminished in both cases.
What would happen if you just took the time to appreciate a great drive or a special moment and let the feeling sink in?
Here’s some alternate logic you’ll never hear elsewhere: You have to let lousy moments sink in too.
The most useless question we never stop asking is “Why do I feel this way?”
Did you ever take that question to the logical conclusion, that if you did get an answer, it doesn’t make you stop feeling that way? Knowing why may sate the intellect, but it does little to ease the pain.
Whether your moments are tender, memorable or miserable, they are a reality, and logically pulling them apart will not enhance, preserve, or diminish them.
Being with the emotion of the moment is the best use of that moment.
We rarely just sit with the glow of a tender moment. We have the need to logically recreate it because we’re driven by the fear that we’ll never have this feeling again. It’s a basic lack of trust in our ability to naturally and spontaneously create whatever the moment calls for.
In the case of a lackluster moment, we logically do everything we can to chase it away. That logic keeps it coming back. It’s like Dr. Dave used to say, “It’s like attempting to hold a beach ball under water.” Allowing yourself to feel that moment will do more to let the air out of it than a semester’s worth of Aristotle’s syllogisms.
There are great uses for logic but attempting to use it to figure out or dissect your emotions pays paltry dividends.
When you practice feeling whatever the moment brings, you’ll naturally arrive at a new mantra – leave the logic in the garage.
All the best,
John
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