The Grasshopper had an interesting question this morning: “Would you rather change minds or hearts?”

It seems to me that changing minds is an ego trip; changing hearts takes someone to a deeper place.

If I want you to change your mind about something, it usually becomes a battle of wills. That’s usually a standoff. We both win some, we lose some, and after protracted battles, no ground is gained. It’s really a fight about who’s right.

Notice that often when someone else is proven “right” and you’re “wrong,” you still mentally stick to your guns, regardless of the evidence. Look no further than the parent/teacher conference. “My son would never do such a thing.”

So you’re not going to change too many minds in this lifetime, so your efforts are better served going after the heart of the matter.

How do we go about changing hearts? I wish I knew.

I’m not sure how to do it but my sense is that it’s the pursuit of hearts that will get you closer to more hearts. How does one pursue hearts? I’m not sure past setting the intention.

One idea that came to mind is to lead by example. If you’re preaching something, make sure your life is an example of it. Your example will change more hearts than any manufactured rhetoric you can come up with to change minds.

“Do as I say, not as I do” is an attitude that won’t send any hearts aflutter, it will just cause you to politely nod and under your breath to mutter.

One of the reasons most people fail miserably at sales is because they don’t believe in the product. They are attempting to change minds about something which their heart is not in. That attitude cannot be disguised by any slick pitch.

A quick story may be helpful . . .

In the past, I have not been a fan of popular golfer, Phil Mickelson. He’s a fan favorite but something about him had always rubbed me the wrong way until . . .

He won the tournament known as The Masters in 2010. I had seen him win this prestigious tournament once before, but his stellar play and comments after that round did not win me over.

Upon winning The Masters in 2010, his wife and little daughters were there to give him hugs and kisses. I should note that his wife was going through breast cancer treatment at the time and was bedridden all week. I’m sure it took a lot of effort for her to travel from California to Georgia to be there for the final round. Then he grabbed my heart. As I wrote back in 2010:

“After Phil put in the final putt and sealed the victory, he briefly exalted, hugged his caddy, shook hands with his playing partner and headed off the course to sign his score card. It’s there that he saw his wife and leaned down and hugged and kissed her. It was one of those embraces where neither one wanted to let go. It was a powerful, emotional moment caught on camera.

He had just won one of the most prestigious tournaments in golf but he spent his glory moment demonstrating what was important (to him).”

Phil won my heart through example. I wonder how soon we can all be better examples and win more hearts than minds.

All the best,

John