We’re all familiar with the phrase “Whatever gets you through the night.” It was even a popular song in the 70s. The problem with the phrase and the philosophy behind it is that it’s rarely a long-term solution.

The Grasshopper offered this: “Whatever gets you through the night won’t offer much light.” I took that to mean that “whatever” wasn’t going to shine a way forward.

Sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on, but if that becomes our routine, we will routinely be pursuing whatever gets us through the night rather than seeking a way forward.

The way forward needs a brief look back as to how we arrived at our current situation. The purpose is to see the steps we took, so that we don’t misstep again. It’s one of the reasons why football players watch films of the games they played in – to gain perspective for going forward.

Once you know the path that leads towards the light, it’s time to let go of whatever gets you through the night. It may take a dark night of the soul or two to finally discover “whatever” isn’t working for you.

This is a simple but not necessarily easy process. The simple part is looking back to find out how you got here. Once you establish the pathway that got you to where you are, it’s time to stop taking side trips to “whatever” and put all your effort into blazing a new trail.

Whatever gets you through the night is a relapse against reality. It’s to make you feel good for the moment with no real chance of it being a stepping stone forward.

If you are constantly crying on shoulders, that should be your first clue that you don’t have a clue as to how to arrive at a solution. It’s difficult to get to a destination if you stop at every rest stop on the way. They become diversions from traveling the path that’s necessary.

What is necessary is to recognize whatever is going on with you is your problem. When we pretend our problems aren’t our problems, we put the onus out there somewhere. That sugarcoats it for awhile, but remember this: A sugarcoated turd is still a turd.

When the sugar wears off we find ourselves eating shit.

Sorry to be the “Dutch Uncle” here but no one is going to solve your problem but you. That’s the realization you need to bring yourself into the present where you can best fashion a future. You won’t get to the present, the only point from which you can change, until you put “whatever gets you through the night” in your rearview mirror.

All the best,

John