Here are three “happening” questions to ponder:

1. What do you want to happen?

2. What’s actually happening?

3. What’s likely to happen?

The first question is the easiest to answer. We all seem to know what we’re wishing for.

The second question seems like it has an easy answer but our brand of filtering reality often gets in the way of getting usable data.

Question 3 gets more accurate answers when question 2’s answer is pointing towards true north.

To find out if what you want is likely to happen, you will need to have laser focus on what’s actually happening. You can’t build a stable structure with inferior building blocks. (Think sand castle).
If what you think is actually happening, isn’t, you’re unlikely to get what you want to happen.

One of the most helpful tools I’ve been taught for finding out what’s actually happening involves the use of subtraction. Subtraction means taking away the “Fluff.”

Fluff is usually in the form of a non-descriptive adjective. Here’s an example of fluff: “It has a ‘good’ chance of happening.” That statement gives you no usable information on which to base a conclusion. “It has a 60/40 chance of happening” gives us more reliable data.

Imagine this back and forth:

Wedding planner: “What would you like served at the rehearsal dinner?”

Bride and Groom: “Oh, we want it to be a lovely meal.”

As absurd as the above example sounds, that’s the level of communication that monopolizes interactions around the world every day.

I’ve stated before that one of my favorite quotes is from Werner Erhard who said, “The reason life doesn’t work is because people don’t keep their agreements.” I’d like to add something to his observation that will aid subtraction: Without excising the fluff, we are confused as to what we agreed to, making it less likely to happen.

Start monitoring the fluff in your own communication and begin to subtract it from your interactions. And gently challenge the fluff being offered to you by others. “And by lovely meal, do you mean you want a choice of chicken or fish as the main entree?”

The next time someone asks you, “What’s happening?”, you’ll actually know if you give fluff the heave-ho.

All the best,

John

P.S. For a more detailed explanation of fluff, read Chapter 1 of my free e-book, THE SUCCESS TRIANGLE.