Most of us can cite change points in our lives. For me, it was the discovery of “I” and “Me.”

It dawned on me that there were two selves – I and Me.

Me only thought there was me. Me is the outer self, the one we talk to ourselves about inside our head. Me is a collection of life’s experiences. To quote Czech writer Milan Kundera, “What is the self? It is the sum of everything we remember.”

The outer self is our self image. “Yep, that’s me.”

What I found out about being me is that there is built in exclusion of other ways, especially ones different from mine. Me takes on the mantle of “the way me thinks is the way it is.”

“I” doesn’t think. “I” observes.

When I discovered there was a thinker and an observer, I began to think less and observe more. One of the things I began to observe was my thinking. It was eye-opening.

I found out there is a part of me that thinks that the only thing there is is thoughts. When I found out I could observe the things I thought were the only things, I found my inner self – the observer.

The observer frees you from your thoughts. You begin to notice these tightly compacted thoughts that pretend they are the only way it is and, like magic, these thoughts begin to unravel. Old beliefs begin to fall apart because there isn’t the glue of thinking to hold them together.

Me takes on a life of its own, never noticing that I is there, until it does.

The way to “I” is to observe “Me.” It’s the observation of this ongoing train of thought that brings you to the whistle stop known as “I.” It’s there that you can hop off and observe rather than pretend to know how things are.

You’ll know you are ready to break out of the cocoon of “Me,” when you observe that there are other ways it can be.

All the best,

John