The Grasshopper offered this nugget over the holiday weekend: “Should, ought and must are opinions, nothing more.”

Who hasn’t ever been caught up in a “should, ought or must” conversation? You could be having it with someone else or with yourself and the result is the same: opinions are being offered as truths.

“I/You should, ought, must (fill in the blank). The blank is an opinion based on a rule, not reality. Anytime we utter should, ought or must, we are putting our rules on display.

The more rules you have, the less life you live.

The more time we spend with should, ought and must, the more time we spend on how things should be, and less time with how things really are. How things really are is where life happens, not where they ought to be.

You are one step removed from life when you engage in should, ought and must. In fact, if you inspect those opinions, they are some very old rules that are very “musty.”

Should, ought and must aren’t going away anytime soon. The real question is: How soon will you notice how often they show up in your life? Just by noticing, you give yourself a little space from your opinions and begin to live a little bit more.

If you need a new rule, you “must” try this one on for size: My opinions “shouldn’t” keep me from living.

All the best,

John