The Grasshopper had some traveling advice to offer: “Going through is the way out.”

Imagine that you are driving into an unfamiliar, scary looking, remote town that’s in a canyon. There is impassible, mountainous terrain to your left and right and the only way through is straight ahead. Your only options are turning back or going through. What do you do?

I don’t think I’m alone in admitting that, in the past, turning back was my default choice.

Now imagine the name of that town is “Pain.” How many times have we turned back when we came upon pain? The result is we stopped ourselves from getting through it again.

Avoiding pain takes many forms. There are many ways we attempt to deaden it – denial, drugs, alcohol and overeating are some of the pain killers of choice. But they’re not really choices but conditioned reactions that keep our painful condition in place.

What painful reality are you choosing not to look in the face? Each time your turn back and look the other way, you have guaranteed your pain an extended stay.

Going through pain is the way out. Please don’t confuse going through pain with drama. They both cannot occupy the same space. Drama is acting out your condition for the whole world to see. Going through is a private journey with just you and your pain.

Most pain demands to be acknowledged and fully felt before it will release you from its grasp. Pain is a sensation in your body whether your pain is emotional or physical. It must be felt to be transformed. I would be the first in line for a deadening drug for severe pain. That just makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is denying our recurring pain is there or attempting to “self medicate” it away.

Your pain registers somewhere in your body. If you stop for a moment and explore the sensations associated with your pain, you now have the strategy for going through. Save the “woe is me” chit-chat and just sense where the pain shows up in your body and sit with it. This is the quickest way I know of to get to the other side of pain.

It takes some bravery to travel through pain. Emotional cowardice just won’t get you through. It will have you stop on the outskirts of town and turn back towards a deadened existence.

If you continually deny or deaden pain, it may be time for you to explore going through. Once you get a glimpse of what’s on the other side, there’s no turning back.

All the best,

John