The Grasshopper asked me a question yesterday: Are you going to be memorable or missed?

I had to let the question sit before I could offer a response. I’m not sure I can directly answer yet, but I can explore the topic and see what pops.

When I go through my memory banks, I recall many incidents of people declaring that they missed someone. In most cases, it was someone who had died and, more often than not, the person was their mother. That’s not surprising due to the unmistakable bond that many people carry throughout their lives with their mom. It just makes sense that they will be missed.

I have the general sense that dads will fall into the memorable category. That may not seem “fair” if you’re a dad and want to be missed, but it does seem to be a reality, at least the way I see it.

Here’s the rub: It also seems to me, when considering one’s legacy, that the person who will be missed wants to be memorable and the memorable person wants to be missed. What to do?

It’s probably more complicated than this but it seems the missed person listened more and the memorable person talked more. So, if there is any validity in this observation, one key to shifting your legacy in the direction of the other column is to do more of what the person whose legacy you want does.

It’s the shifting of your efforts that will get you more points in the other column. Perhaps your efforts will even get you the best of both worlds – being both missed and memorable.

After reflection on The Grasshopper’s question, I don’t think I’ll live long enough to be totally missed but there’s still time to move in that direction.

How do you answer the question? Is there a direction in which you want to move? Do you need to listen more or do you need to be listened to more? Only you know for sure.

Here’s something I suspect for sure: most of the memorable candidates won’t listen long enough and will miss the point.

All the best,

John