The biggest lesson I am in the process of learning is letting go of “know.” The text book has yet to be written but the opening chapter is quite revealing.

I cannot think of something more put offish than someone displaying that they know. This is not displaying your knowledge; it’s displaying an attitude of “I know and you don’t.”

“Smug” would be too kind to describe knowing, yet I can’t come up with a better word.

It’s OK that you know; it’s just obnoxious when you crow.

The attitude of superiority that accompanies knowing is a deterrent to getting closer to people. They mentally walk away from you long before they’re physically able to.

This doesn’t mean to hide your knowledge under a rock; it’s just a reminder that people want to throw rocks at you when they’re looking up at your nose.

A dead give away that “you know” is when a sneer appears. Just try this on for size right now. Pretend that you know something that someone you’re interacting with doesn’t know. Add a dash of superiority for knowing something they don’t, and feel the sneer spread across your face. That facial expression is on every person who “knows” and it doesn’t look good on anyone (kinda’ like Spandex).

To let go of know, notice that you’re knowing. Just catching yourself being smug is often enough to keep you from going more in that direction. I find that when my smug filter kicks in, that’s the time for me to start asking questions of another with genuine curiosity. This practice helps me to really find out rather than pretending I know.

Like any process of change, it begins with recognizing your unwanted behavior while you’re doing it. It’s the first step in “letting go of know” and will put you on a more pristine path not littered with smug.

All the best,

John