Work At It
Is there something that comes to you so naturally that you don’t have to work at it? It’s right there without effort. You may have not even dedicated any time to practicing this particular skill – you just discovered that you had it. Reminds me of a story . . .
I went to a grade school class reunion about 3 years ago and met up with a classmate I hadn’t seen since our school days. He introduced me to his wife and said, “John knows the artist of any hit record you can remember.” He cajoled her into coming up with a few song titles and on cue, I spit out the names of the artists. I always thought I got that skill by being in the radio business but apparently it was developed way back then. I never worked at it. It just came naturally.
What skill do you own that’s effortless?
Hint: It may not be one that’s so desirable.
Your effortless skills may be useful or counter-productive but either way, they are patterned behavior.
Patterned behavior takes on a life of its own and lives outside of you. The patterns pretend to be you. That can be wonderful when we are exhibiting some useful or fun patterns. It can be downright debilitating when our patterns are self-sabotaging and destructive.
Is there something you do that is so automatic that it continually brings you grief? That’s a pattern worth working at.
The reason we’ve put off the work is because we’ve convinced ourselves that this pattern is someone else’s fault or we expend all our energy justifying our behavior. Reminds me of another story . . .
I was on a cruise a number of years ago and one clinically obese member of our group was trying on rings at a jewelry store in St. Thomas. The ring she liked didn’t fit. She then said, “Damn my father for giving me fat fingers.” It was easy to extrapolate from her comment that her father was also responsible for all the other parts of her that were considered fat. She exhibited blame and justification in one short sentence. It came to her naturally. It also keeps her stuck.
If something keeps showing up in your life, it’s your pattern. If you continually attract certain kinds of people to you that you find offensive, it’s your pattern. If a piece of behavior keeps coming back, it’s your pattern. You can spend your days trying to change everyone in your world or you can go to work on your little corner of it. The interesting thing is the change you make has global effects. That means when you change your little piece of the planet, you also change the world. When your little cog changes direction, it produces changes in the paths of all the other cogs that surround you. This brings something different into your life.
To come back full circle to my grade school reunion, I’m about to sound like a broken record because you will continually hear me say the following: Recognition is the first key to change. Once you recognize that it’s your pattern then you can work at it. The longer that you attribute other people or circumstances as the cause of your pattern, the longer it will hang around.
Work at making yourself more responsible for your experience and you’ll find that change comes to you naturally.
All the best,
John
http://cdbaby.com/cd/johnmorgan
http://www.cafepress.com/grasshoppernote/3580301
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