Equal Measure
There is a worldwide myth that needs a challenge (at least I think so).
It’s the one of “Equal Measure” in relationships.
It’s my experience that, in a relationship, one person gives more. This applies to working and non-working relationships whether they be personal or business.
It really has to be this way or the relationship would have no movement. An equal measure relationship would be like a see-saw that was perfectly balanced on each end – both of you would be up in the air.
Perhaps you are tired of being the one who gives more. That’s totally understandable and it has a remedy, but not in the current relationship. If you attempt to adjust the roles so there is equal measure, two things are for sure:
1. The change will be temporary.
2. No one will be happy.
One remedy is being in another relationship where you give less.
“But I don’t want to be in another relationship,” you say. I say, “The balance of the relationship you are in is already set.” Attempting to change it would be like trying to change your blood type.
What to do? Recognize the reality that there is no lasting equal measure, and that efforts to make it so only strain a relationship.
Let’s pretend that you believe your mother or father loves your brother or sister more. Let’s even further pretend that it’s “true.” You can spend a good portion of your life looking for equal measure only to be thwarted at every turn. The sooner you accept the balance the way it is, the sooner you’ll feel movement rather than stagnation.
If this sounds like resignation to you, you need to be in a new relationship OR you need to remove the denigration from resignation and appreciate the relationship you have, the way it is.
Improving relationships is always a noble work in progress, and never is the end point equal measure. If equal measure is your goal, you have a recipe for disaster.
All the best,
John
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