I Don’t Care
I dare say it’s one of the biggest copouts of all time – “I don’t care.” It’s often a protection mechanism used to deny being emotionally hurt by another’s actions. It’s also a repellent.
Too often when we say, “I don’t care,” we mean exactly the opposite, but saying so makes us vulnerable (read “weak”) and, for many, that’s a fate worse than death.
So saying “I don’t care” gives our ego protection but can do nothing to chase away the feeling of not being cared for.
Also, pretending not to care hardens us in the eyes of others. It makes us appear uncaring and that’s nothing that’s high on anyone’s attraction list. Not caring leads to being avoided.
So how do you care if you don’t care?
A start is to be more open about how you actually feel. Showing a little underbelly goes a long way on the way to caring.
You’ve heard the expression, “thick skin.” What does that mean other than someone has hardened themselves against being hurt? What they don’t know is that it makes them less approachable and harder to care for.
When you say, “I don’t care,” you are advertising that you need to be cared for in the worst way, but most people don’t see it that way. They will take you at your word and begin to move in a direction away from you.
There are certainly things that we don’t legitimately care about. The Olympic sport of Curling comes to mind for me, but there are a host of things we do care about but deny.
I invite you to notice how often you say, “I don’t care” when you actually do. It will give you deeper insight into what you really care about. Then adjust your language.
Begin letting people know that you do care. It feels risky at first but gets easier as you practice. It’s Quid Pro Quo in action. The more you let others know that you care, the more they will start to care about you.
All the best,
John
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