Uncomfortable or Prejudiced?
It’s my opinion that the word “prejudiced” is tossed around too easily, too often, and may not be an accurate reflection of the facts.
The Grasshopper opened my eyes to this distinction the other day when he asked: “Does it make you prejudiced if you’re uncomfortable?”
Perhaps a little groundwork would be helpful. We get many of our beliefs by accident, by social, cultural and parental conditioning. I call it the “Hatfield and McCoy Syndrome.” People get many of their prejudices handed to them early on without their permission.
They act out many of these a accidental beliefs for a lifetime, sometimes to their advantage and quite often to their disadvantage.
Somewhere along the way you may begin to question one of these beliefs that you find isn’t working for you. You are presented with new information that counters what you have always believed and you begin to have psychological, back and forth arguments in your head. This may lead you to form a new intellectual belief on the topic. You now stand up and speak out for this new position.
Now comes the sticky wicket.
What if you are presented with a real live example of your old belief vs. your new belief? If you describe what you now think, you may be credited, in some circles, for your enlightened view. If you make the mistake of describing how you feel, that same circle may label you prejudiced.
Let’s take one of the talk show “Hot Topics” out for a spin – Gay Marriage.
Let’s pretend you grew up in a culture where homosexual behavior was labeled deviant, unholy, ungodly and plain old sick. You may still hold to that opinion, or you may have intellectually outgrown that position and now give voice in support of their cause.
Let’s further imagine that you decide to go to a rally to support gay marriage and then find yourself terribly uncomfortable seeing some people of the same sex romantically kissing even though you believe in their right to do so.
Are you prejudiced or are you uncomfortable?
If you give voice to that discomfort, there will be many that will still label you as prejudiced. That’s evidence of most people not appreciating the “Hatfield and McCoy Syndrome.”
Your conditioning will often take longer than your intellect to kick into gear. Your comfort level with your new opinion may lag behind.
Each generation of the Hatfields and McCoys watered down their feud to the point that it no longer engendered the level of discomfort that once existed. It took time.
It may take time for your discomfort to go away; that doesn’t mean you are prejudiced and can’t express your “something new” to say.
All the best,
John
VIRTUAL MASSAGEBe Sociable, Share!
