I assert that even Mother Teresa had an ugly side. It’s not a pretty opinion, and it’s not about her as much as it is about us.

We’ve all witnessed the ugly side of someone, even someone we love, but our observational skills become justifications when the ugly person in the mirror is us.

I will readily admit that I turn from mild mannered David Banner into the Incredible Hulk when I watch my favorite, professional football team perform like high school cheerleaders. I’m not so ready to admit the venom that I’m capable of using on an everyday basis. It’s called prejudice.

We attempt to hide our ugliness when we label our prejudice as “discernment” and put it under the banner of fact. It’s easy to spot prejudice in someone else, but we pretend the spotlight only shines one way. The fact we rarely look at is that our own prejudice is alive and well and is secreted on a daily basis.

The remedy is not to eliminate our prejudice but to notice it. Noticing and interrupting are transformative actions that can turn an ugly toad into someone a bit more regal.

Outgrowing our prejudices will always be a work in progress, but each time we notice and interrupt our own prejudice, we get a little prettier.

Back to my Hulk reference . . . My contention is that if we ever saw a video recording of our ugly side, it would give us pause and give us cause to become less ugly.

Become your own videographer and start to notice in yourself what you so easily notice in others. Once you notice your own shortcoming, interrupt the behavior. With each interruption, you step in the direction of growth.

The mirror will not listen to a justification speech. Your true self will disappear from sight and the only thing left to look at is an ugly you.

You can’t put lipstick on prejudice and make it pretty. You can notice your attempt to camouflage it and stop it in its tracks.

You may never get to change someone else’s ugliness but you can go to work on you, and discover that “To thine own self be true” is less about others and more about you.

All the best,

John

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