Funerals are sad and tombstones can be sadder.

Here’s an idea for a best-selling book that I’ll never write but I know would sell – “Sad Tombstones.”

Here is just one inscription to get you started – “I Never Lost An Argument.”

It’s a fact that people argue; it’s problematic when it becomes a way of life.

The book, “Ishmael” gave me one of my favorite quotes on the subject: “There is no argument that will end the argument.”

The Grasshopper popped out of my Easter Basket yesterday and left this rhetorical question right next to the marshmallow peeps: “Are you more interested in winning an argument or saving a relationship?”

What do you win when you win an argument?

You cannot fact someone into submission because as someone once said, “You cannot legislate emotions.”

And with all this factual information available, we continue to argue.

Here is a useful observation: Ask yourself this: “How often do I argue?”

The reason it’s useful is in the noticing. If you begin to notice that your life is a series of arguments, you have just discovered the secret to curb that which wins you battles and loses wars.

Noticing your penchant to win the debate gives you just enough of a pause to interrupt the argument and focus rather on how you are relating.

Arguments are surface structures that lack the depth in relating to another.

If you are constantly arguing with someone, your relationship lacks depth and you are deep sixing any chance you have of relating in a fulfilling way.

The upside of arguments is that they can clear the air, but if the air has to be cleaned consistently, start to notice that you’re living in a polluted environment.

If you’re main objective is to argue and win, become a trial lawyer.

Begin to notice how arguing gets in the way of relating and you can write your own epitaph: “My life was filled with peaceful moments.”

All the best,

John

ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF
STOP SMOKING FOREVER
SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT
IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
I LOVE MY BODY
RELAX IN 2 MINUTES
FEEL FOREVER YOUNG
VIRTUAL MASSAGE