You will experience a discrepancy gap between you and another until you can come up with a workable fit between what you want to give them and what they want, and vice-versa.

It’s more than about compromise. Compromise is generally temporary and usually leaves both sides longing for what they originally wanted.

Knowing what others want and being able to fill that desire is the Holy Grail, especially when it matches up with what you want to give them.

Too often we think for others, even though our own thinking is a full time job for us. We frequently hallucinate what another wants, and when we provide it and it’s met with disappointment, we fume, stew or say “Forget You.”

We rarely take the time to find out what another wants before deciding whether we can provide it or not. We attempt to sell them on what we think they want or what we want them to buy.

The way to have an opportunity to close the discrepancy gap is to become more aware of what others want. That means you have to ask, not mind read.

There is a great book I may have mentioned before called “Acres of Diamonds” by Russell Conwell. It was written before we were all born and the premise is this: If you surveyed your neighbors within a 5 mile radius of your home and asked them what product or service they wanted or needed that they didn’t currently have, you could graph that data and come up with a product or service that people would buy. Conwell’s notion was that you had an acre of diamonds in your back yard.

You have an acre of diamonds in your back pocket; you just have to ask.

Asking people what they want or need will give you a better idea as to whether you can deliver it or not. Once you know with more precision what they require, you can decide if you are willing and able to provide it.

If you are willing and able, you will close the discrepancy gap.

If you’re willing but unable, you may attempt to BS them and sell them something you know they don’t want. That eventually falls apart even if you’re a great convincer.

If you are able but unwilling, you are at the point where you can compromise, walk away or lie.

Again, compromise is temporary. You will be dealing with this issue again. Walking away is the option that allows you to live with yourself. Unfortunately, lying is the route most often taken. We tell them we are willing, but we’re really not. This will cause us to eventually renege on our promise.

If you are having trouble selling your ideas to another, you probably aren’t asking enough questions and/or you aren’t listening to their answers. More importantly, you are BS-ing yourself if you attempt to sell them on what they don’t want, or temporarily provide them with what they want knowing you won’t be able to sustain it.

The discrepancy gap is closed by honesty.

If you’re unable to provide what they want, say so.

If you are unwilling to provide it, say so.

If you have to compromise for the greater good, know that it is temporary.

If you truly want to close the discrepancy gap, find out what people want and then determine if you are willing and able to deliver.

I can’t tell you if the following statement is true but it sure feels that way to me: Some of the best deals you will ever make in life are those that you are willing to walk away from.

All the best,

John

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