Who Won?
I
n the last argument you had with yourself, who won?
There are no winners of an internal argument; it only delays you from reaching a solution.
The more often you have an internal “Good Cop/Bad Cop” or “Devil/Angel” debate, the longer you delay any action.
It’s a universal law that we continually ignore.
We are conditioned that if we have a “Knock down/drag out,” back and forth argument inside our head that we have done something towards solving our dilemma.
Let’s look at the practice logically for a moment. Most of us are intellectually bright enough to understand both sides of the argument the first or second time it goes around in our head. What is the benefit having it come around for the 23rd time? It’s self-flagellation of the highest order and the only thing this dispute delivers is delay.
Suspending the argument is a much quicker way to a solution.
How do we suspend the argument? Notice that it’s going on.
Have you ever noticed that these debates take on a life of their own? They just take over all your intellectual real estate allowing no room for a solution to pop in.
When you notice an internal argument in progress and you just observe it without taking sides, the wind goes out of each windbag. This practice opens space for a solution to present itself.
I think the real Wisdom of Solomon is getting ourselves back into neutral so we don’t have to split ourselves in half ad nauseam.
It’s the cease fire that delivers the room for real reflection. There is a part of us that acts in our best interest. It’s in our best interest to make room for it to operate.
If you are an attorney prepping for a trial, it may make sense to go back and forth over the opposing arguments, but even there, the debate must stop in order to come forward with a strategy that works.
Noticing that you are arguing with yourself is a powerful strategy that delivers the pause that refreshes.
All the best,
John
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