Every once in awhile you have to run a Stop sign. “Officer, my wife’s water just broke” or “I was rushing home to see the season finale of The Biggest Loser.”

We all go a little haywire sometimes.

It’s ignoring that internal stop signal on a regular basis that will keep you in opposition to most others, and you’ll cause more than your share of “accidents.”

People who are oppositional believe in the illusion of control, and they are on a mission to get some.

They know they’re constantly going against the flow, but they keep on going because they’re looking for the upper hand they think was dealt to others.

Reminds me of a story . . .

I used to work with a guy who was the text book example of oppositional. It was his default position. You said, “Black” and he would say “White.” He was looking to control every situation. He was skilled at what he did but was entirely annoying to everyone.

The sadder part of the story was that he was executing this automatic behavior in order to procure that which cannot be had – Control.

Anyone who is highly oppositional may politely listen to this observation and may even intellectually grasp it, but part of them keeps searching for the Holy Grail filled with the quaff that won’t let them fail.

My experience is that oppositional people, no matter how successful, feel they have failed. They have convinced themselves that the remedy for failure is control.

Oftentimes, the reason they believe so much in this illusion is because they were superbly conditioned by someone exerting highly controlling behavior.

Ah-ha, that’s why I am the way I am. Don’t get stuck there because that will keep you searching backwards.

The way forward is to recognize that your religion isn’t working. Make no mistake; if opposition is your first response, you worship at the altar of control.

You will continue to fail because the god you seek doesn’t exist. It’s a marketing fairy tale that you continue to buy into even though you have ample evidence the miracle isn’t going to happen.

Once you are belted in for the roller coaster ride of life, there is no control of the twists and bends or the fellow riders you encounter. The people who handle life’s loopty loops the best don’t waste their time trying to control them. They choose a response to what’s offered them rather than automatically cruising through the Stop sign again.

All the best,

John

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