I asked myself the question: “What get’s in the way of communication?” and the answer I received was “Pre-disposition.”

It’s next to impossible not to bring your conditioning to an interaction, but that’s no excuse not to recognize that you’re doing it.

When you bring your preconceived notions into a communication, they are going to bump up against another’s predetermined notions and soon there will be sparks.

Preconceived notions are prejudices, principles, preferences, positions and a whole host of other words not beginning with “P.”

Pre-disposition sits on the foundation known as “Right.” When we are right about something, any opposing viewpoint is wrong.

Very little gets communicated when you believe the other person is wrong. Notice the hostility that enters the communication when you believe the other is wrong.

What if, just for a moment, you suspended right and wrong and just labeled their position as “Is.”

We have now inserted a new variable into the right-wrong dichotomy. It’s called “Is.”

What you are noticing is, that it “Is” their position.

Once you recognize a person’s position as not right or wrong, you enter the world of “Is.”

“Is” is the tiny shift in focus that serves as the wedge to put between right and wrong and takes us off automatic pilot. The result of this wedge will prevent the sparks from blinding your vision.

If the objective is to communicate, “Is” is the most efficient catalyst. It allows the most information to flow back and forth unfiltered by right and wrong.

This in no way suggests for you to give up your principles – just check them at the door so they don’t take up space in the meeting room.

You can reclaim your positions on the way out. What you may find by entering the world of “Is” is that you may not want all your old positions back. “Is” is the proverbial and elusive “Open Mind.”

Your mind cannot be wedged open with right and wrong. It takes “Is” to do that.

If your communications are suffering and spiraling down to hiss and scratch fests, it may be time to enter the world of “Is.”

All the best,

John

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