How connected are you?

Most of the things we get in life come from other people, and it follows that if we’re disconnected, we miss a lot.

I’m not defining connection as how many Facebook friends you have, how social you are or how many organizations you belong to. Connection in this context is deeper than that.

When you have your façade interact with their façade, you have the most superficial of connections.

Deep connection can happen with a total stranger whom you may never see again.

So what is a deep connection?

As with many things, it hard to describe in words but you know it when you feel it.

My sense is that a deep connection happens when we set aside any pretense or agenda we have when interacting with another, and they do the same.

The chances of both parties doing it at the same time are slim, but if one person starts the process, the chances for opening the connection become greater. It takes two to tango, but one person has to ask the other to dance to begin the process.

If you’re waiting for the other to begin, it could be a long wait.

Deep connection begins with you. How willing are you to drop your disguise and let people view the unvarnished you?

It takes courage – the courage to stop pretending. Pretending is synonymous with lying.

When you stop the lies to protect your disguise, you open the door to deep connection. It’s really that basic.

Being authentic has nothing to do with careful preparation, cover stories or PR; it’s just dropping our act.

When we drop the pretense, we set the stage for deep connection. People get caught up in our authenticity and want some of that for them. It’s easier for them to follow suit when they have a model to follow.

You may think that this recommendation is for use with strangers or casual acquaintances, but that would cheat you out of a lot. How willing are you to open yourself up for inspection to those closest to you? The risk/reward is totally worth it. The close connection becomes even deeper.

Some will remain a stranger to those even closest to them until they discover the doorway to depth. It opens when you insert the key – which is the freedom to let them see the undecorated me.

All the best,

John

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